Chris Rock is a famous stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director.
Best Chris Rock Quotes
1. “Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.” ~ (Chris Rock).
2. “Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.” ~ (Chris Rock).
3. Women are like the police, they could have all the evidence in the world but they still want the confession. ~ Chris Rock.
4. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. ~ Chris Rock.
5. “There’s math, and everything else is debatable!” ~ (Christopher Julius Rock).
6. “Smart is knowing if you’re dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.” ~ (Chris Rock).
7. “You can never make a woman happy, it’s impossible. I’ve never met a happy woman in my life. They’re always complaining about something.” ~ (Chris Rock).
8. “Don’t argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in an argument. It’s impossible you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense.” ~ (Chris Rock).
9. “A man is only as faithful as his options.” ~ (Chris Rock).
Famous Chris Rock Quotes
10. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative. ~ Chris Rock.
11. Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up. ~ Chris Rock.
12. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. ~ Chris Rock.
13. “Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.” ~ (Chris Rock).
14. “You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.” ~ (Chris Rock).
15. “Money is the best lotion in the world.” ~ (Chris Rock).
16. “Women need food, water, and compliments. That’s right. And an occasional pair of shoes.” ~ (Chris Rock).
17. “Stop the violence! Can’t we all just get along?” ~ (Chris Rock).
Funny Chris Rock Quotes
18. “You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain’t no happiness nowhere.” ~ (Chris Rock).
19. “You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.” ~ (Chris Rock).
20. “Most people don’t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.” ~ (Chris Rock).
21. “The government doesn’t want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.” ~ (Chris Rock).
22. “White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says “gun”? Congressional hearing.” ~ (Chris Rock).
23. “Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year, and the coldest-just in case we want to have a parade.” ~ (Chris Rock).
24. “I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can’t ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.” ~ (Chris Rock).
25. “The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.” ~ (Chris Rock).
26. “Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.” ~ (Chris Rock).
Hilarious Chris Rock Quotes
27. “If a kid calls his grandma “Mommy” and his mama “Pam”, he’s going to jail!” ~ (Chris Rock).
28. “When you’re white, the sky’s the limit. When you’re black, the limit’s the sky.” ~ (Chris Rock).
29. “See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.” ~ (Chris Rock).
30. “When I do stand-up, I’m basically doing a one-man show.” ~ (Chris Rock).
31. Funny is only something that others know about you – you can’t be funny by yourself. ~ Chris Rock.
32. With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. ~ Chris Rock.
33. “When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they’re crazy, because ‘sacrifice’ infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.” ~ (Chris Rock).
Powerful Chris Rock Quotes
34. “You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you’re at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!” ~ (Chris Rock).
35. “You don’t pay taxes; they take them from your check. That’s not a payment – that’s a ’jack.” ~ (Chris Rock).
36. “You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.” ~ (Chris Rock).
37. “Yeah, it’s unfair that you can get judged by something you didn’t do, but it’s also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn’t work for.” ~ (Chris Rock).
38. “Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.” ~ (Chris Rock).
39. “Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.” ~ (Chris Rock).
40. “I love having somebody there – that companion thing. You know who you’re going to eat with, who you’re going to see a movie with.” ~ (Chris Rock).
41. “I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.” ~ (Chris Rock).
42. “You got a gun, you don’t have to work out.” ~ (Chris Rock).
43. “Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit…” ~ (Chris Rock).
Top Chris Rock Quotes
44. “If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory.” ~ (Chris Rock).
45. “I saw the yearbook picture. There was six of them! I ain’t have six friends in high school, I don’t have six friends now! That’s three on three with a half court.” ~ (Chris Rock).
46. “I don’t need a president with a bucket list!” ~ (Chris Rock).
47. “If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah’s money he’d jump out the window.” ~ (Chris Rock).
48. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” ~ (Chris Rock).
49. “If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you’re ahead of the game.” ~ (Chris Rock).
50. “Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.” ~ (Chris Rock).
51. “You can only offend me if you mean something to me.” ~ (Chris Rock).
52. “I do what I can do when I can do it.” ~ (Chris Rock).
53. “God bless America, and no place else.” ~ (Chris Rock).
54. “Men do not settle down. Men surrender.” ~ (Chris Rock).
55. “You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.” ~ (Chris Rock).
56. “I’d always end up broken down on the highway. When I stood there trying to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But when I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself – people like to see that.” ~ (Chris Rock).
So these were the 56 quotes from Chris Rock.