Chris Rock (Christopher Julius Rock) is a stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director from the United States.
Rock rose to popularity as a cast member of Saturday Night Live in the early 1990s, after working as a stand-up comedian and starring in supporting film parts.
He went on to star in films such as Down to Earth (2001), Head of State (2003), The Longest Yard (2005), the Madagascar film series (2005–2012), Grown Ups (2010), Grown Ups 2 (2013), Top Five (2014), and a series of critically praised HBO stand-up specials.
Everybody Hates Chris (2005–2009), a sitcom based on his early life, he created, wrote, and narrated.
We have made a list of top quotes from Chris Rock for you.
Best Chris Rock Quotes
1. “I’d always end up broken down on the highway. When I stood there trying to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But when I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself – people like to see that.” ~ (Chris Rock).
2. “Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.” ~ (Chris Rock).
3. Women are like the police, they could have all the evidence in the world but they still want the confession. ~ Chris Rock.
4. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. ~ Chris Rock.
5. “There’s math, and everything else is debatable!” ~ (Christopher Julius Rock).
6. “Smart is knowing if you’re dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.” ~ (Chris Rock).
7. “You can never make a woman happy, it’s impossible. I’ve never met a happy woman in my life. They’re always complaining about something.” ~ (Chris Rock).
8. “Don’t argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in an argument. It’s impossible you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense.” ~ (Chris Rock).
9. “A man is only as faithful as his options.” ~ (Chris Rock).
Famous Chris Rock Quotes
10. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative. ~ Chris Rock.
11. Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up. ~ Chris Rock.
12. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. ~ Chris Rock.
13. “Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.” ~ (Chris Rock).
14. “You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.” ~ (Chris Rock).
15. “Money is the best lotion in the world.” ~ (Chris Rock).
16. “Women need food, water, and compliments. That’s right. And an occasional pair of shoes.” ~ (Chris Rock).
17. “Stop the violence! Can’t we all just get along?” ~ (Chris Rock).
Funny Chris Rock Quotes
18. “You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain’t no happiness nowhere.” ~ (Chris Rock).
19. “You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.” ~ (Chris Rock).
20. “Most people don’t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.” ~ (Chris Rock).
21. “The government doesn’t want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.” ~ (Chris Rock).
22. “White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says “gun”? Congressional hearing.” ~ (Chris Rock).
23. “Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year, and the coldest-just in case we want to have a parade.” ~ (Chris Rock).
24. “I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can’t ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.” ~ (Chris Rock).
25. “The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.” ~ (Chris Rock).
26. “Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.” ~ (Chris Rock).
Hilarious Chris Rock Quotes
27. “If a kid calls his grandma “Mommy” and his mama “Pam”, he’s going to jail!” ~ (Chris Rock).
28. “When you’re white, the sky’s the limit. When you’re black, the limit’s the sky.” ~ (Chris Rock).
29. “See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.” ~ (Chris Rock).
30. “When I do stand-up, I’m basically doing a one-man show.” ~ (Chris Rock).
31. Funny is only something that others know about you – you can’t be funny by yourself. ~ Chris Rock.
32. With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. ~ Chris Rock.
33. “When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they’re crazy, because ‘sacrifice’ infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.” ~ (Chris Rock).
Powerful Chris Rock Quotes
34. “You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you’re at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!” ~ (Chris Rock).
35. “You don’t pay taxes; they take them from your check. That’s not a payment – that’s a ’jack.” ~ (Chris Rock).
36. “You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.” ~ (Chris Rock).
37. “Yeah, it’s unfair that you can get judged by something you didn’t do, but it’s also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn’t work for.” ~ (Chris Rock).
38. “Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.” ~ (Chris Rock).
39. “Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.” ~ (Chris Rock).
40. “I love having somebody there – that companion thing. You know who you’re going to eat with, who you’re going to see a movie with.” ~ (Chris Rock).
41. “I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.” ~ (Chris Rock).
42. “You got a gun, you don’t have to work out.” ~ (Chris Rock).
43. “Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit…” ~ (Chris Rock).
Top Chris Rock Quotes
44. “If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory.” ~ (Chris Rock).
45. “I saw the yearbook picture. There was six of them! I ain’t have six friends in high school, I don’t have six friends now! That’s three on three with a half court.” ~ (Chris Rock).
46. “I don’t need a president with a bucket list!” ~ (Chris Rock).
47. “If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah’s money he’d jump out the window.” ~ (Chris Rock).
48. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” ~ (Chris Rock).
49. “If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you’re ahead of the game.” ~ (Chris Rock).
50. “Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.” ~ (Chris Rock).
51. “You can only offend me if you mean something to me.” ~ (Chris Rock).
52. “I do what I can do when I can do it.” ~ (Chris Rock).
53. “God bless America, and no place else.” ~ (Chris Rock).
54. “Men do not settle down. Men surrender.” ~ (Chris Rock).
55. “You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.” ~ (Chris Rock).
56. “Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.” ~ (Chris Rock).
So these were the 56 quotes from Chris Rock.
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