Chris Rock (Christopher Julius Rock) is a stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director from the United States.

Rock rose to popularity as a cast member of Saturday Night Live in the early 1990s, after working as a stand-up comedian and starring in supporting film parts.

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He went on to star in films such as Down to Earth (2001), Head of State (2003), The Longest Yard (2005), the Madagascar film series (2005–2012), Grown Ups (2010), Grown Ups 2 (2013), Top Five (2014), and a series of critically praised HBO stand-up specials.

Everybody Hates Chris (2005–2009), a sitcom based on his early life, he created, wrote, and narrated.

We have made a list of top quotes from Chris Rock for you.


Best Chris Rock Quotes

1. “I’d always end up broken down on the highway. When I stood there trying to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But when I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself – people like to see that.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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2. “Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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3. Women are like the police, they could have all the evidence in the world but they still want the confession. ~ Chris Rock.

4. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. ~ Chris Rock.

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5. “There’s math, and everything else is debatable!” ~ (Christopher Julius Rock).

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6. “Smart is knowing if you’re dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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7. “You can never make a woman happy, it’s impossible. I’ve never met a happy woman in my life. They’re always complaining about something.” ~ (Chris Rock).

8. “Don’t argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in an argument. It’s impossible you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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9. “A man is only as faithful as his options.” ~ (Chris Rock).

Famous Chris Rock Quotes

10. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative. ~ Chris Rock.

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11. Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up. ~ Chris Rock.

12. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. ~ Chris Rock.

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13. “Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.” ~ (Chris Rock).

14. “You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.” ~ (Chris Rock).

15. “Money is the best lotion in the world.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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16. “Women need food, water, and compliments. That’s right. And an occasional pair of shoes.” ~ (Chris Rock).

17. “Stop the violence! Can’t we all just get along?” ~ (Chris Rock).

Funny Chris Rock Quotes

18. “You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain’t no happiness nowhere.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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19. “You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.” ~ (Chris Rock).

20. “Most people don’t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.” ~ (Chris Rock).

21. “The government doesn’t want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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22. “White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says “gun”? Congressional hearing.” ~ (Chris Rock).

23. “Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year, and the coldest-just in case we want to have a parade.” ~ (Chris Rock).

24. “I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can’t ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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25. “The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.” ~ (Chris Rock).

26. “Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.” ~ (Chris Rock).

Hilarious Chris Rock Quotes

27. “If a kid calls his grandma “Mommy” and his mama “Pam”, he’s going to jail!” ~ (Chris Rock).

28. “When you’re white, the sky’s the limit. When you’re black, the limit’s the sky.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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29. “See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.” ~ (Chris Rock).

30. “When I do stand-up, I’m basically doing a one-man show.” ~ (Chris Rock).

31. Funny is only something that others know about you – you can’t be funny by yourself. ~ Chris Rock.

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32. With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. ~ Chris Rock.

33. “When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they’re crazy, because ‘sacrifice’ infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.” ~ (Chris Rock).

Powerful Chris Rock Quotes

34. “You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you’re at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!” ~ (Chris Rock).

35. “You don’t pay taxes; they take them from your check. That’s not a payment – that’s a ’jack.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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36. “You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.” ~ (Chris Rock).

37. “Yeah, it’s unfair that you can get judged by something you didn’t do, but it’s also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn’t work for.” ~ (Chris Rock).

38. “Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.” ~ (Chris Rock).

39. “Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.” ~ (Chris Rock).

40. “I love having somebody there – that companion thing. You know who you’re going to eat with, who you’re going to see a movie with.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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41. “I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.” ~ (Chris Rock).

42. “You got a gun, you don’t have to work out.” ~ (Chris Rock).

43. “Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit…” ~ (Chris Rock).

Top Chris Rock Quotes

44. “If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory.” ~ (Chris Rock).

45. “I saw the yearbook picture. There was six of them! I ain’t have six friends in high school, I don’t have six friends now! That’s three on three with a half court.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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46. “I don’t need a president with a bucket list!” ~ (Chris Rock).

47. “If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah’s money he’d jump out the window.” ~ (Chris Rock).

48. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” ~ (Chris Rock).

49. “If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you’re ahead of the game.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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50. “Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.” ~ (Chris Rock).

51. “You can only offend me if you mean something to me.” ~ (Chris Rock).

52. “I do what I can do when I can do it.” ~ (Chris Rock).

53. “God bless America, and no place else.” ~ (Chris Rock).

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54. “Men do not settle down. Men surrender.” ~ (Chris Rock).

55. “You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.” ~ (Chris Rock).

56. “Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.” ~ (Chris Rock).


So these were the 56 quotes from Chris Rock.

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