73 Bo Burnham Quotes from the Funny Comedian and YouTuber

Bo Burnham, born August 21, 1990, is a multifaceted American talent: comedian, singer, musician, actor, filmmaker and poet.

Beginning his career on YouTube in 2006, he garnered over three million subscribers, releasing various works including the Netflix special “Make Happy” in 2016 and the nominated “Inside”.

Born to Patricia and Scott Burnham in Massachusetts, Bo grew up with two siblings, Samm and Pete.

Bo Burnham

After graduating from St. John’s Preparatory School in 2008, he deferred admission to New York University to pursue comedy, eventually signing with Comedy Central at 17.

Burnham has also directed and acted in films, securing various accolades in the industry.

Let’s check out some of the funniest quotes from Bo Burnham.

Best Bo Burnham Quotes


Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on. ~ Bo Burnham.

I’m a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun. ~ Bo Burnham.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn’t just the thought of it make it worth a try? ~ Bo Burnham.

Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine. ~ Bo Burnham.

I don’t really care about capitalizing on momentum. ~ Bo Burnham.

I’ve always liked the format of YouTube, sharing things for free, which is a nice exchange between people. ~ Bo Burnham.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head. ~ Bo Burnham.

I would say don’t take advice from people like me who have gotten very lucky. ~ Bo Burnham.

What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy. ~ Bo Burnham.

Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy. ~ Bo Burnham.

I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love. ~ Bo Burnham.

Funny Bo Burnham Quotes

When life gets you down, make a comforter! ~ Bo Burnham.

You got to take a deep breath and give up. The system is rigged against you. ~ Bo Burnham.

I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes. ~ Bo Burnham.

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool. ~ Bo Burnham.

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t. ~ Bo Burnham.

Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively. ~ Bo Burnham.

I’ll stop when I think I’m not doing good stuff. I’ll never exploit something just because people like it. ~ Bo Burnham.

My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition. ~ Bo Burnham.

I love you just the way you are
but you don’t see you like I do.
You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect.
Trust me, perfect should try to be you. ~ Bo Burnham.

Hilarious Bo Burnham Quotes

I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy. ~ Bo Burnham.

Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change? ~ Bo Burnham.

I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now. ~ Bo Burnham.

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die. ~ Bo Burnham.

If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural. ~ Bo Burnham.

I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face. ~ Bo Burnham.

No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you. ~ Bo Burnham.

Funniest Bo Burnham Quotes

Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it. ~ Bo Burnham.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no. ~ Bo Burnham.

I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they’re listening to. ~ Bo Burnham.

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies. ~ Bo Burnham.

If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that. ~ Bo Burnham.

I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face. ~ Bo Burnham.

My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it. ~ Bo Burnham.

I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something. ~ Bo Burnham.

I just like to write and then perform. ~ Bo Burnham.

Humorous Bo Burnham Quotes

I chose to do comedy instead of going to college. ~ Bo Burnham.

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons. ~ Bo Burnham.

I stopped and I thought, ‘What would Jesus do?’ So I didn’t exist. ~ Bo Burnham.

And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France. ~ Bo Burnham.

There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind. ~ Bo Burnham.

I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface. ~ Bo Burnham.

I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it. ~ Bo Burnham.

You guys like impressions? Why? ~ Bo Burnham.

Where are all the sour patch parents? ~ Bo Burnham.

I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a ‘sociopath.’ ~ Bo Burnham.

I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage. ~ Bo Burnham.

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land? ~ Bo Burnham.


Uncharted territory is a good place to be in. ~ Bo Burnham.

Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person. ~ Bo Burnham.

The average person has one Fallopian tube. ~ Bo Burnham.

Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make. ~ Bo Burnham.

When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed. ~ Bo Burnham.

People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy. ~ Bo Burnham.

Top Bo Burnham Quotes

The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever. ~ Bo Burnham.

I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome. ~ Bo Burnham.

Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own. ~ Bo Burnham.

All you God damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls. ~ Bo Burnham.

I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it. ~ Bo Burnham.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names. ~ Bo Burnham.

You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you. ~ Bo Burnham.

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me… ~ Bo Burnham.

Famous Bo Burnham Quotes

Being famous is complete luck, and that’s something you can’t bank on. ~ Bo Burnham.

I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went. ~ Bo Burnham.


Your hard work and talent will not pay off. ~ Bo Burnham.

Comedy is very strange to me and I don’t fully understand it’s purpose or function. ~ Bo Burnham.

Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist. ~ Bo Burnham.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I’m thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats. ~ Bo Burnham.

In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall. ~ Bo Burnham.

Being self-aware about doing something you hate doesn’t save you from the act. ~ Bo Burnham.

So these were the 73 top Bo Burnham quotes that are funny and hilarious.

If you like these quotes and sayings, then you can also read my other posts on Rodney Dangerfield quotes and Tyler The Creator quotes.

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Chandan Negi
Chandan Negi

I’m the Founder of Internet Pillar - I love sharing quotes and motivational content to inspire and motivate people - #quotes #motivation #internetpillar