47 Bob Saget Quotes from the American Stand-up Comedian

Bob Saget was an American stand-up comedian, actor, and television host. 


Top 7 Bob Saget Quotes


My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat. ~ Bob Saget.


I can’t do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts. ~ Bob Saget.


Kindness isn’t just a virtue, it’s a necessity. ~ Bob Saget.


When you have a good time there is no time. ~ Bob Saget.


I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either. ~ Bob Saget.


When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away. ~ Bob Saget.


Some dead people said smart stuff. ~ Bob Saget.

Funny Bob Saget Quotes

I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts? ~ Bob Saget.


I was so depressed for so many years over trying to become a working comedian that my sense of self-worth would plummet. ~ Bob Saget.

Words matter. Especially if you’re kicking someone’s ass in words with friends. ~ Bob Saget.


Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is. ~ Bob Saget.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn’t work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life… ~ Bob Saget.


If someone sprays Windex in your food it can give you diarrhoea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you’re fine. ~ Bob Saget.

Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker. ~ Bob Saget.

I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin. ~ Bob Saget.


I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with. ~ Bob Saget.

I love my mom! You can too for $12! ~ Bob Saget.

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed. ~ Bob Saget.

Humorous Bob Saget Quotes

If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person? ~ Bob Saget.

It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people. ~ Bob Saget.


My confidence wavers between being genuine and being insecure. ~ Bob Saget.

Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought. ~ Bob Saget.

Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news. ~ Bob Saget.

I become a chameleon for wherever I am. ~ Bob Saget.

Valuable people are undervalued. ~ Bob Saget.

If ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,’ how do you explain zombies? ~ Bob Saget.

My favorite Dylan song? I think it’s ‘Just Like a Woman.’ It always makes me cry. ~ Bob Saget.


My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward. ~ Bob Saget.

Hilarious Bob Saget Quotes

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy. ~ Bob Saget.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom. ~ Bob Saget.


No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers. ~ Bob Saget.

Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow. ~ Bob Saget.

They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them? ~ Bob Saget.

At the end of the day it’s the end of the day. ~ Bob Saget.

The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it. ~ Bob Saget.

I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory. ~ Bob Saget.

Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business. ~ Bob Saget.

Famous Bob Saget Quotes

There was this whole middle time that only Chris Rock came out of, you know, 10 years ago it was Chris and a few other people, but that’s about it. Chris is in a class of his own; I don’t see another comedian who I put in high regard as him. ~ Bob Saget.

If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something. ~ Bob Saget.


It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people. ~ Bob Saget.

Soon, I’m going to meet somebody around my own age, and she’s going to be smart and beautiful, and I’m going to date her daughter. ~ Bob Saget.

Like with any good art form, if you can entertain people and make them think, it’s an honor. It’s just an honor to be a comedian. ~ Bob Saget.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them. ~ Bob Saget.

I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated. ~ Bob Saget.

Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn’t even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water. ~ Bob Saget.

So these were the 47 amazing quotes about Bob Saget.

If you like these quotes and sayings, then you can also read my other posts on Sacha Baron Cohen quotes and Junot Diaz quotes.

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Chandan Negi
Chandan Negi

I’m the Founder of Internet Pillar - I love sharing quotes and motivational content to inspire and motivate people - #quotes #motivation #internetpillar