Fran Lebowitz is an American author, public speaker, and humorist.
Best Fran Lebowitz Quotes
A salad is not a meal, it is a style. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Tolerance is really a better thing than understanding. Because it doesn’t agitate against human nature. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn’t known you long enough. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
You’re only as good as your last haircut. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Think before you speak. Read before you think. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Famous Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let’s Make a Deal. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I’m such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don’t need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Popular Fran Lebowitz Quotes
If people don’t want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater? ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Humility is no substitute for a good personality. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
There’s too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
If people don’t hold grudges, it means they just don’t care what people do. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Your responsibility as a parent is never great as the case is with the mother. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Great Fran Lebowitz Quotes
When I was young, I liked romance. But to me, romance is the opposite of domestic life. I just don’t want anyone in the apartment, not for longer than a few hours. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn’t make up yourself – a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Top Fran Lebowitz Quotes
The Italians are the most civilized people. And they’re very warm. Basically, they’re Jews with great architecture. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Randomness scares people. Religion is a way to explain randomness. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one’s own interest in the topic has waned. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
When I was young, boys didn’t type. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you’ve imagined. Venice is – Venice is better. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It’s like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It’s a very bad idea. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Thought-Provoking Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
When Toni Morrison said ‘write the book you want to read,’ she didn’t mean everybody. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I’m sure that being sober all these years accounts for my ill humor. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It’s not that they feel that what you don’t know won’t hurt you; they feel that what you don’t know won’t hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don’t love to write. That would be blissful. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Sleep is death without the responsibility. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Being poor is like being a child. Being rich is like being an adult: you get to do whatever you want. Everyone is nice when they have to be; rich people are nice when they feel like it. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
All style is personal – that’s what distinguishes it from fashion. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I’m like the laziest person who ever lived. It’s amazing to me I even sit up. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Profound Fran Lebowitz Quotes
By the time everyone catches up with you, you’re bored. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
New Yorkers, we’ve seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years; we know who he is. So he wasn’t a surprise to me. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I hate money. It is boring and it is arithmetic. The two things I hate the most. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Why not have your first baby at sixty, when your husband is already dead and your career is over? Then you can really devote yourself to it. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Take away a man’s actual sense of manhood – which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children – and you’ve got to give them something else. And they did. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
You don’t have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
No one I knew talked about money. It’s not an area of interest. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
A dog who thinks he is a man’s best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Inspiring Fran Lebowitz Quotes
I’m a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I’m great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
A woman’s quest in life should be to find the perfect apartment. And I have found the perfect apartment. The perfect apartment is the first floor of the Metropolitan Museum. With a sofa. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood? ~ Fran Lebowitz.
I hate all jobs. I’ve never had a job I liked. ~ Fran Lebowitz.
So these were the 87 top Fran Lebowitz quotes and sayings.