114 Best Mindy Kaling Quotes from The Hilarious Author and Actress

Mindy Kaling, born Vera Mindy Chokalingam in 1979, is a celebrated American actress, comedian and author known for her unique sense of humor.

The daughter of Indian immigrants, Kaling’s career was influenced early on by sketch comedies she watched as a child.

She majored in theatre at ‘Dartmouth College’ and co-created the satirical play called “Matt & Ben” which won the award for best overall production at the New York International Fringe Festival.


Kaling was recruited in 2004 to write for “The Office,” where she also played the character Kelly Kapoor.

She later developed “The Mindy Project,” a distinctive TV show focused on the romantically obsessed obstetrician-gynecologist, Mindy Lahiri.

Kaling’s contributions to TV also include “Champions,” “Four Weddings and a Funeral,” “Never Have I Ever,” and “The Sex Lives of College Girls.”

Her film credits range from “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” to “Ocean’s 8,” and she has penned autobiographical essay collections like “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?” (2011) and “Why Not Me?” (2015).

I have made a best collection of Mindy Kaling quotes below.

Best Mindy Kaling Quotes


You should never have to say hello or goodbye. ~ Mindy Kaling.


If someone really wants to see you, they always find a way. Always. ~ Mindy Kaling.


You’d have to bring in Skittles every single day. ~ Mindy Kaling.


If I sound bitter, that’s because I’m still a little bitter. ~ Mindy Kaling.


Is this a generation of orphans who are going to the improv to do stand-up? ~ Mindy Kaling.


I feel the same way about clothes as I do about food. I want everything. ~ Mindy Kaling.


Skinny foodie, get away from me. ~ Mindy Kaling.


I have the right to life, liberty and chicken wings. ~ Mindy Kaling.


If you’ve got it, flaunt it. And if you don’t got it? Flaunt it. ‘Cause what are we even doing here if we’re not flaunting it? ~ Mindy Kaling.

People take things at face value on social media. Earnestness is the assumption. ~ Mindy Kaling.

People take things at face value on social media. Earnestness is the assumption. ~ Mindy Kaling.


You should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it’s acid in the face – who will love them now? ~ Mindy Kaling.


A remarkable thing about me is that the time that elapses between a sad thought and a flood of tears is three or four seconds. ~ Mindy Kaling.


I guess when you go to business school, you never turn business off. ~ Mindy Kaling.

The overlap in the Venn diagram of things that men hate for women to wear and the things that I love to wear, it’s almost a full overlap on the Venn diagram, which is unfortunate for me. ~ Mindy Kaling.


Sometimes I aid into the confusion by having my character’s name be my name. ~ Mindy Kaling.

My whole childhood was like: Work hard, be quiet, respect elderly people, respect your parents, and just be unobtrusive. ~ Mindy Kaling.


If I’m going to be a mess, I might as well be a hot mess, right? ~ Mindy Kaling.

Best friend isn’t a person, it’s a tier. ~ Mindy Kaling.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably a woman. Or perhaps you’re a gay man getting a present for your even gayer friend. Maybe you accidentally bought this thinking it was the Malala book. ~ Mindy Kaling.

If you don’t see a clear path for what you want, sometimes you have to make it yourself. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I am a super-confident writer, and as a joke writer and as an actress, I’m like, ‘I want to go head-to-head with every person.’ I am an Indian woman and I’m a kind of double minority in this world. ~ Mindy Kaling.


Sometimes you just have to put on lipgloss and pretend to be psyched. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic. ~ Mindy Kaling.

When smart people are nice, it’s always terrifying, because I know they’re taking in everything and thinking all kinds of smart and potentially judgmental things. ~ Mindy Kaling.


I’m not into red carpet looks where it’s clear the woman wanted to look like a pretty, pretty princess. ~ Mindy Kaling.

We never needed best friend gear because I guess with real friends you don’t have to make it official. It just is. ~ Mindy Kaling.

When men hear women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that’s not it. It’s a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. Entrenched is awesome. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Famous Mindy Kaling Quotes

Couples are really funny, because if they are together, they can fight and do fun things together. In Jane Austen books, marriage is the end of the story, but I actually think a really funny couple could be a fun thing to watch. ~ Mindy Kaling.


I wouldn’t mind if an expensive bag were named after me, like Jane Birkin. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Sometimes you like the idea of someone so much, you just want to do whatever it takes to make it work. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I can’t for the life of me not eat something that I want to eat. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I love talking about clothes with women; it’s like a code because women dress for women. ~ Mindy Kaling.

It doesn’t help for you to name a character’s first name be Mindy and then be like, I’m nothing like the character. ~ Mindy Kaling.


In my mind, the sexiest thing in the world is the feeling that you’re wanted. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, picture-hanging man. I don’t care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I’ve been outsmarted by a toddler, how’s your Thursday going? ~ Mindy Kaling.

I was obsessed with being popular in high school and never achieved it. There’s photos from our high school musicals, and I’m comically in the deep background, wearing a beggar’s costume. ~ Mindy Kaling.


I am notorious for making impassioned speeches about things nobody cares about. ~ Mindy Kaling.

When people call me either a girl crush or their best friend, like, the best friend they want, that’s, to me, the best compliment anyone could ever give me. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Top Mindy Kaling Quotes

I have a thick skin, which comes from being a not-really-skinny, dark-skinned Indian woman. I haven’t fit in every place, and so I’m kind of used to resistance. ~ Mindy Kaling.


I’m Adorable. I Look like Keira Knightley Running Errands! ~ Mindy Kaling.

As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Another old saying is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But it feels best served piping hot, straight out of the oven of outrage. My opinion? Take care of revenge right away. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Growing up, I remember my parents feeling a little wary of ‘The Simpsons.’ This was the late eighties, and there was a wave of articles about TV shows that were bad for America. Then we all started watching it and loved it. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Future hipsters will love me ironically. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Anybody can have a birthday. It requires nothing. Murderers have birthdays. It’s the opposite of anything that I believe in. And I don’t like at work where you stop everything to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to someone. I feel like that’s for children. ~ Mindy Kaling.


Gratitude is the closest thing to beauty manifested in an emotion. ~ Mindy Kaling.

The truth is, it’s hard to get people to like you, but it’s even harder to keep people liking you. ~ Mindy Kaling.

So I’m into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, non-Velcro-shoe-wearing man. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quiet, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up. ~ Mindy Kaling.

People don’t want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That’s why comedy writers do well – we put out little funny ideas. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Why didn’t you talk about whether women are funny or not? I just felt that by commenting on that in any real way, it would be tacit approval of it as a legitimate debate, which it isn’t. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I am always surprised at what movie studios think people will want to see. I’m even more surprised at how often they are correct. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Funny Mindy Kaling Quotes

I’ve always had that chip on my shoulder. I’ve just always been super hard on myself. ~ Mindy Kaling.


Are you even an Indian dad if you don’t have a quilted puffer vest and a bag of crunchy snacks. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I initially thought you were ugly, but then you walked closer to me and I realized you were pretty. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Write your own part. It is the only way I’ve gotten anywhere. It is much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Later, when you’re grown up, you realize you never really get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that’s it. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Running is a quick trigger for a good mood. The great thing about endorphins, you don’t have to be in great shape to get them. ~ Mindy Kaling.

People seem to be having these awesome sex lives and I’m just trying to find a life partner to go apple picking with. What’s wrong with me? ~ Mindy Kaling.

True love is singing karaoke ‘under pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world operates according to different rules than my regular human world. ~ Mindy Kaling.


I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I stupidly memorize my credit card and use it about thrice weekly for online shopping. The only reason I don’t bankrupt myself is that I return about 75% of what I buy. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Writing a book is the most terrifying thing that I’ve ever done. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Hilarious Mindy Kaling Quotes

I say if you love something, set it in a small cage and pester and smother it with love until it either loves you back or dies. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I have such a rich fantasy life, I can’t help it. I do make up a lot of romantic stories in my head. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I guess nothing puts a damper on a one-night stand as much as your friend pointing out all the opportunities where you might have been killed. ~ Mindy Kaling.


I would rather have someone read my diary than look at my iPod playlists. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Because confidence is like respect; you have to earn it. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I don’t ever remember being able to debate with my parents. Even though I thought of myself as a very bright kid, I couldn’t be vocal in that way. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Listen, my body is attracted to your body but when you speak it makes my brain angry. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Your fear that your parents will actually kill you for dropping out of college is something that I think a lot of children of immigrants would maybe relate to. ~ Mindy Kaling.

One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about. ~ Mindy Kaling.

That’s my advice to people. You can’t get hung up on thinking, Am I the victim in this situation?” No, I’m in charge of it. ~ Mindy Kaling.


I don’t want to be skinny. I’m constantly in a state of self-improvement, but I don’t beat myself up over it. ~ Mindy Kaling.

People talk about confidence without ever bringing up hard work. That’s a mistake. ~ Mindy Kaling.

If I can muster up any allure in my life, at this stage, I wouldn’t mind doing that. ~ Mindy Kaling.

My relationship with my mom is really the single most profound relationship that I’ve ever had in my life. ~ Mindy Kaling.

The Tweets that I have written that are most popular are the ones that are the kind of universal girly concerns and observations. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Albums that remind me of my childhood happiness make me incredibly sad now. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I’m giving a lot of opinions, but I don’t give any advice. I’m 31 and I’m not married and having kids. I’m five-foot-three. I weigh, like, 150 pounds and I’m not in this position to be telling people how to live. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Humorous Mindy Kaling Quotes

I know a lot of people think of me and they like, oh that girl is really sexy, that girl is really put together, she would never do something as unladylike as a beet eating competition. ~ Mindy Kaling.


I’m too excited to sleep! ~ Mindy Kaling.

If you are going to ask your crush for their phone number, you are one of the small group of women I am so jealous of. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I have crushes on celebrities or people I meet or see in the coffee shop, and every day I fall in love with three people simply because they said one funny thing or appeared to me in a certain way. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking about politics in your workplace too much. Just work hard, be cheerful, ignore distractions. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I would love if gay men responded to me. All I want is for many gay men to dress up as me for Halloween. ~ Mindy Kaling.

If I’m at a party where I’m not enjoying myself, I will put some cookies in my jacket pocket and leave without saying good-bye. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I have a whole system down for returning online shopping: a tape gun, a printer for return labels. That has replaced traditional window shopping in my life, as I’ve gotten busier. ~ Mindy Kaling.


There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Every actor pretends that they hate sex scenes, and the truth is that they all love them, and they’re lying. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Has anyone else made fun of a Panettone they were gifted and then eaten half of it in one sitting. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I can’t have a big breakfast or a big lunch because I get very lethargic, and then I get really cranky. I eat, but I have to eat small, healthful amounts of food. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I was kind of unfriendly and suspicious of everyone around me. I didn’t talk until I was about 15. It’s a kind of famous story at my house. ~ Mindy Kaling.

It forces you to think about what your strengths really are, and once you find them, you can showcase them, and no one can stop you. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I am an incredibly impatient person. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Witty Mindy Kaling Quotes

The best kind of laughter is laughter born of a shared memory. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I, like most women, I dress for other women, I think. If I was going to dress for men, I think in general I would be just wearing, like, a fitted black T-shirt and tight jeans every day. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I know why people are interested, and I know why people want me to speak about it. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Even in my revenge fantasy where all I do is exercise, I can still do only twenty-five pull-ups. Pull-ups are tough, no joke. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I would say that my mother is the single biggest role model in my life, but that term doesn’t seem to encompass enough when I use it about her. She was the love of my life. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I have a personality defect where I REFUSE to see myself as an underdog. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I’m not good at anything except writing jokes. I wasn’t good at sports, I wasn’t good at anything artsy, ever. I think there was a real worry for a while about what I would be good at. I was just this chubby little Indian kid who looked like a nerd. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Everyone has a moment when they discover they love Amy Poehler. ~ Mindy Kaling.

My parents were supportive of my creativity but did not have a lot of patience for whimsy with zero production value. They had stuff to do. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I don’t need marriage. I don’t need anyone to take care of all my needs and desires. I can take care of them myself now. ~ Mindy Kaling.

The world is too unstable to truly enjoy National Pizza Day. ~ Mindy Kaling.

Anyone who’s lost someone to cancer will say this, that you have to struggle to try to remember the person before the diagnosis happened, because they really do change – as anyone would change. ~ Mindy Kaling.


I’m not overweight. I fluctuate between chubby and curvy. ~ Mindy Kaling.

I’m so much more confident and sexy at thirty-eight than I ever was when I was eighteen or twenty-four… ~ Mindy Kaling.

I never want to be called the funniest Indian female comedian that exists. ~ Mindy Kaling.

So these were the 114 top Mindy Kaling quotes and sayings.

If you like these quotes and sayings, then you can also read my other posts on Brad Lea quotes and Dan Pena quotes.

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Chandan Negi
Chandan Negi

I’m the Founder of Internet Pillar - I love sharing quotes and motivational content to inspire and motivate people - #quotes #motivation #internetpillar