75 Best Napoleon Dynamite Quotes to Make You Laugh

Napoleon Dynamite is a popular comedy film from the United States that was released in 2004.

Best Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

Is that what you’re trying to do. Ruin my life and make me look like a freakin’ idiot! ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

I’m not gonna use hers, you sicko! ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

I’m dead serious. ~ Uncle Rico.

Best Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

Whatever I feel like I wanna do! Gosh! ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

Like what are my skills? ~ Pedro.

Is there anyone else here? I’m trying to save money for college. ~ Deb.

I see your drinking 1%. Does that mean you think you’re fat? Cause you’re not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to. ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

Dang! You got shocks, pegs lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps? ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time. ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

You know, there’s like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I’m pretty good with a bo staff. ~ Napoleon Dynamite

I already made, like, infinity of those at scout camp. ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

I’m really busy right now. [looks at cheese he grated on nachos] ~ Kip.

What kind of gun did you use? ~ Don.

Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I’d take state. ~ Uncle Rico.

But my lips hurt real bad! ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

Well, you have a sweet bike. And you’re really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you’re like the only guy at school who has a mustache. ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

You know, like nunchuck skills, bo hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only like guys who have great skills. ~ Napoleon Dynamite

(Takes a bottle of Gatorade from the refrigerator and stops short) Who are you? ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

Kip bring me my Chapstick! ~ Napoleon Dynamite

I could make that much money in five seconds! ~ Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I’m training to be a cage fighter. ~ Kip.

Famous Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

How long did it take you to grow that mustache? ~ Napoleon Dynamite

Too bad, she said she doesn’t want you here when she gets back because you’ve been ruining everybody’s lives and eating all our steak. ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

Napoleon, you know we can’t afford the fun pack. What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you’re at it. ~ Uncle Rico.

Last week, Japanese scientists explaced… placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland’s local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake. ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

Sorry I’m late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys. ~ Napoleon Dynamite

It’s a Sledgehammer. ~ Pedro

Well, what is there to eat? ~ Napoleon Dynamite

Stay home and eat all the freakin chips Kip! ~ Napoleon Dynamite

I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines! ~ Napoleon Dynamite

What can I have for dinner? Kip ate the last frozen dinner! ~ Napoleon Dynamite

I’ll go get it. [Slaps Kip in the face while he’s not looking] ~ Napoleon Dynamite

And here we have some boondoggle key chains. A must-have for this season’s fashion. ~ Deb

The worst day of my life! What do you think? ~ Napoleon Dynamite

Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can’t fit my numchucks in there anymore. ~ Napoleon Dynamite

Back in ’82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. ~ Uncle Rico

Gosh. ~ Napoleon Dynamite

I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me. ~ Kip

’Cause I didn’t have a freakin’ choice. All the other sweet clubs were filled up. Gosh! ~ Napoleon Dynamite

I caught you a delicious bass. ~ Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon, it looks like you don’t have a job. So why don’t you get out there and feed Tina? ~ Uncle Rico

Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin’ pretty serious. ~ Kip

Hey Napoleon, what did you do all last summer again? ~ Don

Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five or six in her drawer. ~ Kip

It’s a free country. I can do whatever I want. ~ Uncle Rico

No, I’m freakin’ starving! I didn’t get to eat anything today. ~ Napoleon Dynamite

Top Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

Tina, come get some ham. ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

I’m gonna tell you somethin’ right now. While you’re out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin’ 120 bucks. ~ Uncle Rico

Did you shoot any? ~ Don

LaFawnduh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m 100% positive she’s my soul mate. Don’t worry Napoleon, I’m sure there’s a babe out there for you too. Peace out. ~ Kip
Well, if coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would’ve been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind. ~ Uncle Rico

Take a look at what I’m wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it! ~ Rex

My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn’t cause she’s doing some modeling right now. ~ Napoleon Dynamite

A freakin’ 12-gauge, what do you think? ~ Napoleon Dynamite

It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed … bred for its skills in magic. ~ Napoleon Dynamite

Top Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

Dammit Napoleon make yourself a dang quesadilla! ~ Grandma

How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? ~ Uncle Rico

[Feeding the llama scoops of casserole over the fence] Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!… Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD! ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

Yes, like 50 of ’em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that? ~ Napoleon Dynamite

I’d have gone pro in a heartbeat. I’d be making millions of dollars and living in a big ol’ mansion somewhere, soaking it up in a hot tub with my soul mate. ~ Uncle Rico

At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you’re gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here? ~ Rex.

Popular Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

So me and you are pretty much friends by now, right? ~ Napoleon Dynamite

Why would I want to buy any of this girly crap? ~ Napoleon Dynamite

I’m not goin’ anywhere, Napoleon. ~ Uncle Rico

What the flip was Grandma doing at the sand dunes? ~ Napoleon Dynamite.

Just follow your heart. That’s what I do. ~ Jon Heder.

Kip: So when’s grandma coming back?
Uncle Rico: I don’t know. Not sure.
Napoleon Dynamite: You don’t have to stay here with us, we’re not babies!
Uncle Rico: Ha ha! Talk to your Auntie Carolyn.
Napoleon Dynamite: Kip is like thirty-two years old.
Kip: I don’t mind if you stay.

Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills… Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

Napoleon Dynamite: I like your sleeves. They’re real big.
Deb: Thank you. I made them myself.
Napoleon Dynamite: So you and Pedro getting really serious now?

Funny Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

Kip: So how long are we talking about working?
Uncle Rico: What are you, already losing your steam?
Kip: No, I just… I have a chat room meeting at 4. I gotta be back here by then.
Uncle Rico: All right, you just start a little earlier, that’s all. Or else work afterwards. How long is the chat room?
Kip: Jeez, sometimes up to 3-4 hours maybe… Maybe not…
Uncle Rico: You pay the bills for that? Does that cost money every time you’re on, like for minutes on the phone?
Kip: Yeah, grandma’s still paying per minute. She gets kinda pissed at me sometimes cause I’m on there so long.
Uncle Rico: I bet she does. I’ll tell you something, I’d be throwing you out the window.

Kip: Your sandy hair floats in the air… To me it’s like a lullaby… I’m just flying by… Oh so high… like a kite… tied to a skate…

Deb: Okay, turn your head on more of a slant…
Deb: Now, make a fist. Slowly ease it up underneath your chin.
Deb: This is looking really good.
Kip: You can say that again.
Deb: Kay, hold still right there. Now, just imagine you’re weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses.
Deb: (takes the picture) That was one that I think is gonna come out really nice.
Uncle Rico: Ah, how you did it… wow… well I felt really relaxed. Thanks, Deb.

Uncle Rico: What about your girlfriend?
Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for like two hours every day so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.

Napoleon Dynamite: (drinks a glass of milk) The defect in that one is bleach.
FFA Judge No. 1: That’s right.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes!
Napoleon Dynamite: (drinks another glass of milk) This tastes like the cow got into an onion patch.
FFA Judge No. 2: Correct!
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes!!.

So these were the 75 top Napoleon Dynamite quotes and sayings.

If you like these quotes, then you can also read my other movie quotes posts on Cheech and Chong and The Wolf of Wall Street.

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Chandan Negi
Chandan Negi

I’m the Founder of Internet Pillar - I love sharing quotes and motivational content to inspire and motivate people - #quotes #motivation #internetpillar