Tina Fey is an actress, comedian, writer, producer, and playwright from the United States.
Best Tina Fey Quotes
I don’t want to be somebody else. ~ Tina Fey.
When hiring, mix Harvard Nerds with Chicago Improvisers and stir. ~ Tina Fey.
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. ~ Tina Fey.
The topic of working moms is a tap-dance recital in a minefield. ~ Tina Fey.
I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I want to spend time with Oprah. ~ Tina Fey.
Al Gore announced Tuesday that he plans to launch a 24-hour cable news network for young adults. Gore claims he’s been wanting to do this since he invented cable TV in the 1990s. ~ Tina Fey.
I never get to go to movies, because I’m a mom. ~ Tina Fey.
Either way, everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does. ~ Tina Fey.
You don’t just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at ‘SNL’ is writing to go after someone. ~ Tina Fey.
Seriously, I’ve just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it. ~ Tina Fey.
I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people would think it was sexy. ~ Tina Fey.
Funny Tina Fey Quotes
Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion. ~ Tina Fey.
Instead of trying to fit an impossible ideal, I took a personal inventory of all my healthy body parts for which I am grateful. ~ Tina Fey.
That night’s show was watched by ten million people, so I guess that director at The Second City who said the audience “didn’t want to see a sketch with two women” can go shit in his hat. ~ Tina Fey.
Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it. ~ Tina Fey.
Quentin Tarantino is here, star of all my sexual nightmares. ~ Tina Fey.
A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.’ ~ Tina Fey.
You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go. ~ Tina Fey.
Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. ~ Tina Fey.
I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior. ~ Tina Fey.
Most of my work is done before we start shooting, preparation work, so my normal day begins when I start writing, it might even be the night before. ~ Tina Fey.
Witty Tina Fey Quotes
My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously. ~ Tina Fey.
If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us? ~ Tina Fey.
You mostly know that you want to be funny, know that you have the desire. It’s not like people who grow up beautiful and can look in the mirror and be like, I’m beautiful! Funny is more of a journey. And a desperate attempt. ~ Tina Fey.
Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body’s totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City. ~ Tina Fey.
I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people. ~ Tina Fey.
In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way. ~ Tina Fey.
You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute. ~ Tina Fey.
I had my hair in a ponytail and looked my trademark exhausted. ~ Tina Fey.
Life is improvisation. ~ Tina Fey.
A new poll showed that 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq and the remaining 34% think that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church. ~ Tina Fey.
The way down from Old Rag is a forest road. We found a stream in the woods and finally got a drink of water. We scooped it up with our hands and it was the greatest, most satisfying drink of water I ever had in my life. ~ Tina Fey.
Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not. ~ Tina Fey.
Popular Tina Fey Quotes
A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I’m on my game. ~ Tina Fey.
Growing up as a girl is always traumatizing, especially when you have the deadly combination of greasy skin and getting your boobs at ten. But I think it’s good to grow up that way. It builds character. ~ Tina Fey.
No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free. ~ Tina Fey.
At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music. ~ Tina Fey.
When a man plays a woman in a dress, you’re halfway there. It’s inherently funny. When a woman plays a man, for whatever reason, it’s not that instant kind of funny. ~ Tina Fey.
At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment. ~ Tina Fey.
We writers dream of a future where actors are mostly computer generated and their performances can be adjusted, by us, on a laptop, alone. ~ Tina Fey.
Top Tina Fey Quotes
This made no sense to me, probably because I speak English and have never had a head injury. ~ Tina Fey.
Will Ferrell is a dangerous man. If he thinks you’re in his way in show business, he will crack your head open. He’s the Jeff Gillooly of comedy. ~ Tina Fey.
I’m married, you know. I love my husband and I have a child. ~ Tina Fey.
I don’t enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don’t have that kind of ‘I love the bad guys’ thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people. ~ Tina Fey.
In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea. ~ Tina Fey.
It’s no more dangerous to society than a radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds. ~ Tina Fey.
I don’t like my feet. I’m not crazy about anybody’s feet. But I have flat feet. ~ Tina Fey.
If you’re an actor and you don’t get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities. ~ Tina Fey.
Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy. ~ Tina Fey.
Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity. ~ Tina Fey.
Famous Tina Fey Quotes
If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs. ~ Tina Fey.
If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes. ~ Tina Fey.
You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. ~ Tina Fey.
In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late. ~ Tina Fey.
There are so many quiet times you spend as a mother that aren’t glorified but are a foundation for your kids. No matter what, there was always a thick safety net under this trapeze. ~ Tina Fey.
If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet, and you can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. ~ Tina Fey.
It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film. ~ Tina Fey.
I believe in process. I believe that having a really difficult process is more valuable than a good outcome. ~ Tina Fey.
I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society… unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool. ~ Tina Fey.
My problem with the traditional acting method was that I never understood what you were supposed to be thinking about when you’re onstage. ~ Tina Fey.
I keep my eyes on the sea, waiting to be rocketed into it on a wave of fire. I’ll be ready for it to happen and that way it won’t happen. It’s a burden, being able to control situations with my hyper-vigilance, but it’s my lot in life. ~ Tina Fey.
Ultimate Tina Fey Quotes
I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day. ~ Tina Fey.
To say I am an overrated troll when you have never seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. ~ Tina Fey.
Sleep when your baby sleeps. Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless. ~ Tina Fey.
Whenever you see me, I’m on antique quaaludes. ~ Tina Fey.
Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing! ~ Tina Fey.
Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone. ~ Tina Fey.
Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death. ~ Tina Fey.
One of the great things about doing animated movies is that you don’t have to dress up or put on make-up. ~ Tina Fey.
It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV. ~ Tina Fey.
I went to the University of Virginia and I came from, I grew up in suburban Philadelphia. ~ Tina Fey.
Hilarious Tina Fey Quotes
You know who DOES have a funny bone in her body? Your Mom every night for a dollar! ~ Tina Fey.
A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss. ~ Tina Fey.
You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it. ~ Tina Fey.
The difference between male comedy writers and female comedy writers is that the male ones are taller and weigh more. ~ Tina Fey.
Whatever the problem – be part of the solution. ~ Tina Fey.
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math. ~ Tina Fey.
This January, Kevin Costner will be honored by the Palm Springs International Film Festival for his contribution to film. This gives Costner just two months to make a contribution to film. ~ Tina Fey.
In Afghanistan this week, outnumbered Northern Alliance rebels on horseback defeated Taliban forces armed with tanks. Experts say the victory is just like the story of David and Goliath and David’s friend, the Stealth Bomber. ~ Tina Fey.
If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares? ~ Tina Fey.
My parents are very well-behaved. If anything, if my Mom were here right now, she would hug and kiss every one of you hello, and then she would feed you. ~ Tina Fey.
In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby. ~ Tina Fey.
You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings. ~ Tina Fey.
When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone would notice, but I persevered because like you trying to a do a nine piece jigsaw puzzle, it was a labor of love. ~ Tina Fey.
Funniest Tina Fey Quotes
I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that. ~ Tina Fey.
When I was going to school in, like, ’84 to ’88, you didn’t have cell phones. There was no email, if you can wrap your brain around that. ~ Tina Fey.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a school play or a dumb TV show. It’s your work. You should care about it so much that people get annoyed with you. ~ Tina Fey.
Yeah, it’s tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I’m really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it’s true. My husband Jeff Richmond saw a diamond in the rough and took me in. ~ Tina Fey.
Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles. ~ Tina Fey.
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am all about money. I mean, just look how well my line of zodiac-inspired toe rings and homeopathic children’s medications are selling on Home Shopping Network. ~ Tina Fey.
Am I just chasing it because it’s the hardest thing for me to get and I want to prove I can do it? ~ Tina Fey.
My husband doesn’t like to fly. He does fly now because he doesn’t want our daughter to grow up thinking he is a Don Knotts character. But when we were first married, he didn’t fly. ~ Tina Fey.
Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards. ~ Tina Fey.
Humorous Tina Fey Quotes
It has been said that to write is to live forever. The man who said that is dead. ~ Tina Fey.
I want to spend time with Oprah, and I don’t know what I need to do to make that happen. ~ Tina Fey.
I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. ~ Tina Fey.
Make statements, with your actions and your voice. ~ Tina Fey.
I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian. ~ Tina Fey.
When choosing sexual partners, remember: Talent is not sexually transmittable. ~ Tina Fey.
Luxury cruises were designed to make something unbearable – a two-week transatlantic crossing – seem bearable. There’s no need to do it now. There are planes. ~ Tina Fey.
I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian. ~ Tina Fey.
To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. ~ Tina Fey.
If you are capable, people are happy to play with you. ~ Tina Fey.
I love to play strippers and to imitate them. I love using that idea for comedy, but the idea of actually going there? I feel like we all need to be better than that. That industry needs to die, by all of us being a little bit better than that. ~ Tina Fey.
The first time I went to see a Second City show, I was in awe of everything. I just wanted to touch the same stage that Gilda Radner had walked on. It was sacred ground. ~ Tina Fey.
Tracy: Stop eating people’s old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don’t you know you can fly? ~ Tina Fey.
I’m not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room. ~ Tina Fey.
It’s harder to make something good when you can’t curse all the time. ~ Tina Fey.
It’s the same reason I don’t get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time? ~ Tina Fey.
Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of. ~ Tina Fey.
Wise Tina Fey Quotes
Sometimes if you have a difficult decision to make, just stall until the answer presents itself. ~ Tina Fey.
I don’t really have a nemesis, but I have a series of hundreds of small enemies that fuel me. Everyone I meet I assume is out to get me and that fuels my fire on a daily basis. ~ Tina Fey.
Do your thing and don’t care if they like it. ~ Tina Fey.
Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy. ~ Tina Fey.
It’s not vanity, because if you look weird, it will distract from what you’re trying to do. If you look as good as you can, people will be able to pay attention to what you’re actually saying. ~ Tina Fey.
My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne. ~ Tina Fey.
President Bush gave a rousing speech to the United Nations General Assembly. Afterward, in a touching show of support, every foreign dignitary shook hands with the president and smiled warmly as he mispronounced their names. ~ Tina Fey.
The thing that always fascinated me about improv is that it’s basically a happy accident that you think you’re initiating. ~ Tina Fey.
It’s like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific. ~ Tina Fey.
It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist. ~ Tina Fey.
Don’t be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable. ~ Tina Fey.
You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams. ~ Tina Fey.
Many of the world’s greatest discoveries have been by accident. I mean, look at the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox. ~ Tina Fey.
So these were the 125 top Tina Fey quotes that will tickle your funny bone.
If you like these quotes and sayings, then you can also read my other posts on Demetri Martin quotes and Russell Brand quotes.