Are you looking for the best ‘Yahtzee Croshaw’ quotes and sayings? I’ve rounded up some of the famous Yahtzee Croshaw quotes, sayings, captions for Instagram, and status messages for you.

Benjamin Richard “Yahtzee” Croshaw is a humorist writer, author, video game journalist, humorist, podcaster, and video game creator from the United Kingdom.

He is most known for producing The Escapist’s video game review series Zero Punctuation.

Croshaw has already garnered fame in the Adventure Game Studio community for his video games development.

You will find below a curated collection of Yahtzee Croshaw quotes that you can read and share with others.


Best Yahtzee Croshaw Quotes

What were they going to do after killing the president, declare themselves king? ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

There was an Iron Man-shaped ache in my face. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

Anyway, something tells me that wasn’t the kind of death you come back from. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

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The geek shall inherit the earth. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

With small-town America it’s always either zombies or communists isn’t it. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

She looked like a drama student who had been told to be a tree, then never told to stop. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

The cruelest thing you can do to an artist is tell them their work is flawless when it isn’t. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

His perpetual grin was wider than any I’d ever seen, and that included several guys I’d known at Dreadgrave’s with no skin on their faces. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

I am a crab. I am thinking crabby thoughts. I am tightening my grip on this rock with my big red pincers. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

There’s a new spell you get around level 50 called “Mirror Image” which might as well be called “Reap On, Ye F**king Reaper Man”. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

I realized that the job of a hero is not to save the galaxy, or rescue princesses, or slay all the dragons. That may be part of it, but in the end, a hero only has one job, and that’s to make himself unnecessary. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

There’s something terribly weird about the standard fantasy setting – not least of which the fact the phrase “standard fantasy setting” can be uttered without irony. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

He hastily pulled off his dressing gown – revealing austere black boxer shorts and a threadbare T-shirt for something called Mogworld – and began twirling it frantically around his head. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw

Fair warning,” I said. “We may die horribly the moment I turn this handle.” “I beg your pardon?” I turned the handle. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

He was obviously taking an extended holiday from reality, an option that I had to admit I was finding more and more tempting. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

Famous Yahtzee Croshaw Quotes

It could have been a thief or a murderer. I considered crying out. A thief would run away, but a murderer would murder me. On the other hand, the murderer would probably murder me if I didn’t too. That was his whole thing. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

The obedient Pit bull becomes the escaped tiger and it’s got a knife. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

The root problem with Christianity is that their god is supposed to be all-powerful and benevolent. It sounds like an easy sell, but when life turns completely to s*it, you have to come up with all kinds of whacked-out reasons for why kindly old Jehovah saw fit to run over little Timmy with a combine harvester and leave him in a state of vegetative, limbless agony for eighteen years. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

I woke up one morning to find that the entire city had been covered in a three-foot layer of man-eating jam. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

Individuals are fine once you get to know them, especially if they’re interesting in conversation or have large, sumptuous breasts, but I don’t like people in the plural and I’ve seen very little to change my mind about that. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

Nothing ruins a good thing quite like knowing you share your opinions with mindless little t*ts. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

So, Americans, then. Self-appointed vigilante defenders of the world, kind of like Superman, if Superman was retarded and only fought crime when he felt like it. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

Well we’ve left behind the 200X’s, and we move onto the 20XX’s. Maybe that will finally make us feel like we’re living in the future, rather than a media controlled slave state where an iPhone is worth substantially more than a human life. Happy new year. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

Originally it had had two settings: Stun and Kill. These had proved inadequate against the ridiculously well-armored skin of monsters from particularly rough planets, so I’d found a way to tinker with the built-in limitations. The dial now had a third setting, labeled with the handwritten words ‘Solve All Immediate Problems. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

This was how I would die. Strangled by an attractive, seminaked woman inside a fridge with a giant tarantula in the middle of a sea of carnivorous jam. As I blacked out, all I could think of was a fortune teller I’d spoken to a few years ago, and how full of s*it she’d turned out to be. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

Great Yahtzee Croshaw Quotes

As the saying goes, a star pilot’s flight jacket has no stains, only stories. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

How exactly does a steam-powered gun turret differentiate between friend and foe? I wasn’t aware that boiled water could form allegiances. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

Horrors from beyond the veil of time and space are coming to eat us so shut up, sounds like a pretty good draw card for a leader to have. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

The Necromancer’s Tower squatted over the river like an incontinent titan. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

He seemed to notice for the first time that we weren’t exactly rushing to his side, but were mainly watching him as a zoo patron would watch a crazy monkey, curious but ready to move at the first sign of poo-flinging. There was a minute of awkward silence before someone near the back with their head held under their arm said “who’s this t*at? ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

That fact forms the center of a slightly racist joke referencing Ritsuko City’s large population of Japanese speakers. And I could certainly have escaped justice indefinitely by crossing the Black. But I’d have to lose my last scrap of self-respect, and in that case I would take up transvestite hooking before piracy. At least that would make for a less awkward conversation with Dad. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

I had passed on from life, from the world of struggles and hardship and big fat women with annoying laughs, and entered a glorious new existence of utter peace, and joy, and love. And then some git brought me back to life. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

The main problem I always have with multiplayer is that human beings are grabby, entitled, selfish, ugly, stupid, evil cockstoppers. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

Oh, traccy traccy ply ply bracket doints and divs. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

Top Yahtzee Croshaw Quotes

Readers of my online journal – I refuse to use the word blog because it sounds like something that lives on a riverbed and communicates through farts. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

It creates an effective contrast, like riding a bike down a long and peaceful country road and every other hundred yards the bike turns into a bear. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

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Nothing says ‘I come in peace’ like a good incendiary device. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

I’d sometimes pictured myself bravely sacrificing my life to save another, but my preference had always been that it be someone I actually liked. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

He who trades pacing for gimmicky open-world freedom deserves neither. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

The jam had filled the courtyard and foyer and pushed the water out of the swimming pool. Where it touched the walls, little tendrils snaked their way upwards like searching fingers. There was an overpowering stench of strawberries. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

The most I can hope for is to die in a pose that confuses future archaeologists. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

If you ask me, the hypothetical zenith of gaming technology is direct neural interface – nobody to hamper you and your brain is in whatever you want it to be in. Plus it leads to existential uncertainty, which could be entertaining. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.

I don’t actually remember if I was able to get a firebolt off. I have a vague memory of seeing orange light splatter harmlessly against a spiked breastplate, but that might just have been sparks from all the metal rubbing against metal. Then there was a sound rather like a bag of wet laundry being hurled across a gravel driveway, and that was the first time I died. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw.


So these were the 42 top Yahtzee Croshaw quotes and sayings.

Tell me in the comments section, which Yahtzee Croshaw quotes were your favorite?

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