David Chappelle is a popular stand-up comedian and actor from the United States.


Best Dave Chappelle Quotes

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Chivalry is dead. Women killed it. ~ Dave Chappelle.

It seems like there’s never enough famous white people among comic in Hollywood. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I’ve been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I’ve never really been a CEO. ~ Dave Chappelle.

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I got a lot of positive people around me. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Constantly take inventory of what’s important to you. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Who goes from America to Africa for medical attention? ~ Dave Chappelle.

Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I’ve done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful if you learn it the right way. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I have angst in my life, but I’m like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives. ~ Dave Chappelle.

The only thing harder than leaving show business is coming back. ~ Dave Chappelle.

The world can’t tell you who you are. You’ve just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I don’t do any jokes that old. I might have maybe one or two jokes from high school that I still do! ~ Dave Chappelle.

I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I’ll walk away from show business. But I don’t want to walk away empty-handed. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down! ~ Dave Chappelle.

No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Funny Dave Chappelle Quotes

The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally. ~ Dave Chappelle.

You can’t get unfamous. You can get infamous but you can’t get unfamous. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I don’t care if I ever work in TV again. ~ Dave Chappelle.

My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else. ~ Dave Chappelle.

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself especially when everybody is watching. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak ‘job interview.’ ~ Dave Chappelle.

Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!” ~ Dave Chappelle.

When I’m on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that’s the only time in my adult life I feel like myself. ~ Dave Chappelle.

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The higher up I went, the less happy I was. ~ Dave Chappelle.

If you’re Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and your marriage is breaking up – that’s an awful thing. But to see that speculation in people, it’s gotta sting a little bit. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Hilarious Dave Chappelle Quotes

After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Most people don’t know what it’s like to stand up there and speak their mind. I have a venue to do that. I get paid to do that. It’s not like I’m doing heavy lifting up there. It’s not like I’m solving the world’s problems. It’s like I’m hanging out with a bunch of people and it’s cool. ~ Dave Chappelle.

New white people, you can’t scare these white people, I tried. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I love being famous – it’s phenomenal. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds. ~ Dave Chappelle.

A celebrity, whatever I am, you get cut off sometimes from people just by circumstance. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God I hope it lands in Hartford, Connecticut. ~ Dave Chappelle.

If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher. ~ Dave Chappelle.

The only thing harder than leaving showbusiness is coming back. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Humorous Dave Chappelle Quotes

Change is never like a comfortable proposition. It’s uncomfortable before it’s comfortable again. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I’m rich biotchh! ~ Dave Chappelle.

To see a black man on TV, holding his own with a white man, that was television history. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear – I’m not mad at anybody – not anymore. ~ Dave Chappelle.

There’s something about doing stand-up that’s cathartic. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Being famous is great, it’s not like bad or horrible or anything. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave. ~ Dave Chappelle.

All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Because I was surrounded by so much negativity at some point that it took me going back and doing stand-up to realize, you know, people really like me. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Why don’t you click your heels three times and go back to Africa. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Witty Dave Chappelle Quotes

I don’t want the money. I don’t want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again. ~ Dave Chappelle.

One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change. ~ Dave Chappelle.

My own life is accessible to people still. I could see a guy walking down the street and, even though I’m famous, I got more in common with this guy than, like, Brad Pitt. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas. ~ Dave Chappelle.

If I put forth a legitimate effort, then I feel like, if that doesn’t work out, that’s all I can do. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I’m famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can’t count on it. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing. ~ Dave Chappelle.

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Comedy is a very approval-oriented field. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Where I’m from? A little town called none of yo god damn business. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I think one artist to another artist, the best compliment you can pay one another, because the part of you that is inspired or creates something, to write a joke or a song, that’s like the God-like part of a person. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Top Dave Chappelle Quotes

People don’t know what it’s like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they’re socially callous. ~ Dave Chappelle.

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I don’t do drugs, though. Just weed. ~ Dave Chappelle.

You know, be able to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures. You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it. ~ Dave Chappelle.

What is wrong with me – I just bought a bag of weed from an infant. ~ Dave Chappelle.

My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’ ~ Dave Chappelle.

My kids look actually happy. And I learned early on that perfectionism and parenthood is a toxic combination for everybody involved. In other words, so many things can flourish naturally. All you gotta do is make sure the soil’s right. I view myself more like a guide than a ruler. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I was only gone for two weeks! They made it sound like it was so mysterious. ~ Dave Chappelle.

There’s a lot of people who don’t want anything from me but to laugh and have a good time. You see them at the show and they like – they dress up to come see your show and stuff. And they pack these auditoriums and it’s a lot of fun, man. It’s like, this is how I started, and it’s still fun for me. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I don’t get mad at a photograph because it wasn’t taken today. ~ Dave Chappelle.

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Famous Dave Chappelle Quotes

You’ve got to say ‘yes’ to your destiny. Life’s happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live! ~ Dave Chappelle.

I want to be a guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway? ~ Dave Chappelle.

I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image? ~ Dave Chappelle.

Hey hey hey, smoke weed everyday. ~ Dave Chappelle.

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing. ~ Dave Chappelle.

What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P! ~ Dave Chappelle.

I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you’re a guy who generates money, people have a vested interested in controlling you. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Inspiring Dave Chappelle Quotes

Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to say. ~ Dave Chappelle.

You got to be careful of the company you keep. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I’m happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn’t make things easier, but I’m so much better at handling them. ~ Dave Chappelle.

If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself. ~ Dave Chappelle.

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching. ~ Dave Chappelle.

They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is. ~ Dave Chappelle.

My generation is under-entertained. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes. ~ Dave Chappelle.

I wanted to have a meaningful life, a spiritual life, not just what my hands can hold… ~ Dave Chappelle.

America, I appreciate you liking me. ~ Dave Chappelle.

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I’m an introspective dude. ~ Dave Chappelle.

Stand-up is the kind of gig that’ll show you where you’re at. ~ Dave Chappelle.


So these were the 102 top Dave Chappelle quotes that are funny, hilarious and witty.

If you like these quotes and sayings, then you can also read my other posts on Anthony Hopkins quotes and Bernie Sanders quotes.