‘Major Payne’ is a popular comedy movie that tells the story of a tough, no-nonsense Army drill instructor whose job is to train a group of ragtag recruits.

Major Payne Quotes

Let’s go, let’s go, giddyup, let’s ride! ~ Cadet Dotson.

Yeah, well at least it won’t backfire. Besides, they started it. ~ Major Payne.

He’s a little upset about this morning. Apparently, he had a little accident. ~ Emily Walburn.

Here, I got something for you. ~ Major Payne.

Any man that’d leave you outta be monkey-stomped and have his brains mailed back to his mother. ~ Major Payne.

He’s trying to show you some affection. ~ Emily Walburn.

I don’t like it. It makes me feel all funny. ~ Major Payne.

Why do I have to wear the dress? ~ Cadet Heathcoat.

Major Payne reporting for duty, Sir! ~ Major Payne.

They may not like me, but they will respect me. ~ Major Payne.

That’s not enough. Look at them, these animals are so pathetic that even their own commander didn’t even show up. ~ Lieutenant .
Lieutenant, I can only disqualify the cadet who started the disturbance. ~ Colonel Braggart.
Hello cue balls! Welcome to the house of Payne! ~ Major Payne.

You’re in charge of the green boys. ~ Dr. Phillips
You like a black man to handle things? ~ Major Payne.
Best Major Payne Quotes

What happened to knocking first, Dotson? ~ Cadet Alex Stone.
Fighting is no longer being done out on the battlefields. Now, all the blood is shed in the halls of Congress, boys like us are becoming dinosaurs. ~ Major Payne.
Major! What are the boys doing in those dresses? ~ Emily Walburn.

Got no worries, got no stress. ~ Major Payne.
Payne, what happened? You’ve only been out one week. ~ General Decker.
At ease, Payne. Relax. Do you know why you’re here? ~ General Decker.

Negative. I figure if the Marines wanted me to have a wife, they would’ve issued me one. ~ Major Payne.
General, are you telling me that in this man’s military, is there no room for trained weapon of destruction? ~ Major Payne.
One! Don’t you feel dumb. Two! Look at you. Three! Don’t you ever make jokes about me behind my back, or else I’ll stomp you into the ground. ~ Major Payne.

Well, maybe that’s because he’s six. ~ Emily Walburn.
I ain’t frigid. ~ Major Payne.
Let me tell you something, I am not your damn brother! ~ Major Payne.
You hit that boy again, I’m gonna do more than salute you. ~ Major Payne.

Excuse me, what did you say? ~ Emily Walburn.
Famous Major Payne Quotes
Major Payne, what are you doing here? I was told you were away on an important assignment. ~ Colonel Braggart.

What, boy? What? What? What? ~ Major Payne.
Maybe not, but I can clean out your colon faster than one of those burritos with extra guacamole sauce! ~ Major Payne.
This is unsatisfactory. I demand the entire Madison Squad be disqualified from the final competition. ~ Colonel Stone.

You like to rhyme, boy? ~ Major Payne.
You eye me one more time, I’ll snatch it out and put it in Heathcoat’s cookie bag! ~ Major Payne.
I thought we had a little talk about this kind of negative reinforcement. ~ Emily Walburn.

Got no worries, got no care. ~ Major Payne.
Here. I want you to read this book. Read it. Apply it. ~ Emily Walburn.
What happened? You terminate his command? ~ Major Payne.
You know, there ain’t no pets allowed on this premises, Mr. Ace Ventura. ~ Major Payne.

Break it on down! Break it on down! ~ Cadet Williams.
What the hell was that, you little freckle face cartoon? Did I give you permission to sneeze, Opie? ~ Major Payne.
Top Major Payne Quotes
What’s your damage, muscle head? You stupid? You’re ignorant or are you just plain old deaf? ~ Major Payne.

Who’s the dummy now? ~ Major Payne.
Come on, guys. Relax, it’s just a dummy grenade. ~ Cadet Alex Stone.
Ain’t no need for name-calling! ~ Major Payne.
What are you laughing at, pig-boy? You find a piece of candy in your pocket? What’s your name, son? ~ Major Payne.
Because he’s six? Woman, when I was six years old I had a full time job. ~ Major Payne.
Shut up over there. ~ Major Payne.

The ABC’s of being a positive male role model? ~ Major Payne.
Let me be more direct – they hate you. ~ Emily Walburn.
I never said family don’t break up. Don’t you watch Oprah? ~ Major Payne.
You hold it, or else I’ll break it off, and kick it around on the ground! ~ Major Payne.
Don’t push the ‘maybes,’ baby. ~ Major Payne.
I had an accident. ~ Cadet Kevin Dunn.

One, two, three, four – I love the Marine Corps. ~ Major Payne.
The green boys, they wear those green things. You know what’s funny? When they stand in front of the bushes, I can’t see them! ~ Dr. Phillips.
Major Payne! I have to go to the bathroom. ~ Cadet Kevin Dunn.
Listen, I’ve made some calls and I have an assignment for you. It’s not great, you understand, but it gets you back in the military. ~ General Decker.
Popular Major Payne Quotes
Come on, he can’t do this, leave him alone. I can barely do it. It’s slippery out here. ~ Cadet Alex Stone.

Sorry, Major. There’s nobody left. You’ve killed them all. ~ General Decker.
That’s a very cynical plan. ~ Emily Walburn.
From my heart, left ventricle; took it out myself with a field knife. ~ Major Payne.
Maybe I like you a lot. ~ Major Payne.
Actually, Sir, he is deaf. ~ Cadet Wuliger.

One, tubby, tubby! Two, tubby, tubby! ~ Major Payne.
You look like the Pillsbury Dough-boy. If I poke your stomach, will it make you laugh? We’re gonna have to make some room for your lunch, Bacon-boy. Get down there and give me 25 crunches, and count them out. ~ Major Payne.
Really? Well, where did you get it? ~ Emily Walburn.
Great Major Payne Quotes
Got to earn my right to be called a man. ~ Major Payne.
You nasty little worm. Go change your huggies, boy! ~ Major Payne.
You like the way I handled them white folks back there? ~ Major Payne.
I don’t call it babying, I call it nurturing. ~ Emily Walburn.
Oh, thank you. Now drop down and give me 25 more for speaking out of line! ~ Major Payne.

They’re putting on a fashion show. ~ Major Payne.
No, actually, he left. I wanted children, he didn’t. ~ Emily Walburn.
Major Payne just terminated that bad man with extreme prejudice! ~ Cadet Kevin Dunn
A bullet. It’s somethin’ special. It’s from my heart. ~ Major Payne.
So these were the 81 quotes from Major Payne movie.