Ned Flanders is the Simpson Family’s pious next-door neighbor who is really well-intentioned and good-natured.

Here is the best collection of Ned Flanders quotes and sayings.


Best Ned Flanders Quotes

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You’re never bored painting the Lord! ~ Ned Flanders.

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Can I make my famous mimosa? A little sparkling water in a glass full of regular water? ~ Ned Flanders.

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Cause I just caught me a flyin’ red hot! Bart Simpson? ~ Ned Flanders.

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It’s good for keepin’ down the urges! ~ Ned Flanders.

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Just tell them that God wants them to ignore everything in their bodies. ~ Ned Flanders.

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Homer, I can’t believe you’re partaking with my parents. ~ Ned Flanders.

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There are some things we don’t want to know. Important things. ~ Ned Flanders.

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Homer Simpson, I show you pity, and how do you repay me? With a kick in the kididdlehopper! ~ Ned Flanders.

Famous Ned Flanders Quotes

Homer, I’d love to chitty-chat, but tonight’s the night I do my charity work. ~ Ned Flanders.

I guess now we know why they call them rapids and not ‘slow-pids’, huh? ~ Ned Flanders.

Homer, did you just buckle your belt through my loop? ~ Ned Flanders.

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Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middleman who jacked up the price, and let’s not forget the humane but determined boys at the slaughterhouse. ~ Ned Flanders.

I’m afraid my Maudie is putting plastic on the clouds now. ~ Ned Flanders.

Sometimes God bless her, she underlines passages in my bible because she can’t find hers! ~ Ned Flanders.

It’s a lot less racy than its name would lead you to believe. ~ Ned Flanders.

Popular Ned Flanders Quotes

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Oh my, what a little mess we’ve got here. Well, which ones are yours and which ones are mine? ~ Ned Flanders.

Dear Neighbor, you are my brother. I love you, and yet I feel a great sadness in my bosom. ~ Ned Flanders.

Say your prayers, Simpson… Because the schools can’t force you like they should! ~ Ned Flanders.

I’m not a bad man. I don’t drink or dance or swear. ~ Ned Flanders.

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Oh I’d put rocks in your pocket and walk you out to sea for before I’d let that happen. ~ Ned Flanders.

Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees. ~ Ned Flanders.

Hi diddly ho neighborinos! ~ Ned Flanders.

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Homer, God didn’t set your house on fire. ~ Ned Flanders.

Call me Delta Airlines, because I can’t handle all your extra baggage. ~ Ned Flanders.

Reverend, would you like to try some of my devil’s food cake? ~ Ned Flanders.

Top Ned Flanders Quotes

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I’m not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month? ~ Ned Flanders.

Dear Lord, thank you for Ziggy comics. ~ Ned Flanders.

I got two teens in a public park going at it like a couple of gibbons in the back seat of Noah’s ark! ~ Ned Flanders.

That got my blood pumping in a way I thought only quiet reflection could! Fizzy water for everyone! ~ Ned Flanders.

Now I know you’ve had a few too many waters, but that is no reason for the sailor talk. ~ Ned Flanders.

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Watch Fox and be damned for all eternity. ~ Ned Flanders.

I’ve done everything the bible says. Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff. ~ Ned Flanders.

Then I remember what it was like to have a sweet woman of my own, lying in a twin bed across the hall from mine. ~ Ned Flanders.

Funny Ned Flanders Quotes

Sorry to bother you, Reverend Lovejoy, but I’m kind of in a tizzy. ~ Ned Flanders.

That sounds salty, but you seem sweet. I’m going to call you kettle corn. ~ Ned Flanders.

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Yeah, when they made him, they did not skimp on the puppy dog tails. ~ Ned Flanders.

Now let us download the holy tweet of the Lord. ~ Ned Flanders.

Kids, did anybody pray for giant shoes!? ~ Ned Flanders.

Well I can’t say for sure, but as a Christian, I assume the worst. ~ Ned Flanders.

That’s right, I’m down to my wife blesser. ~ Ned Flanders.

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Seagulls always stay near land! They only go out to sea to die! ~ Ned Flanders.

Great Ned Flanders Quotes

Homer, you’ve met my parents. ~ Ned Flanders.

Did a volcano erupt in candy land, because I just caught me a flying red hot. ~ Ned Flanders.

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Hold your horses, son. Hey, Simpson! ~ Ned Flanders.

He’s a hero all right, a hero sandwich full of bologna! ~ Ned Flanders.

Thank you for taking me to that Pinkberry place. It’s a lot less racy than its name would lead you to believe. ~ Ned Flanders.

No, it’s angel’s food with chocolate on top. ~ Ned Flanders.



If these quotes and sayings connect with you, check out our other posts on Minnie Mouse quotes and Rick Grimes quotes.