Ned Flanders is the Simpson Family’s pious next-door neighbor who is really well-intentioned and good-natured.

He may be shy and a pushover, despite his strong religious beliefs. He worships God wholeheartedly and adheres to the Bible as closely as possible, and he is often surprised when confronted on any point of theology.

He also owns the Leftorium and Flancrest Enterprises, a home company that creates religious hook rugs.

He is also a volunteer firefighter with the Springfield Volunteer Fire Department. He even (legally) owns the Simpsons’ home, which he rents out to the family at a reasonable cost, demonstrating that he would spend a lot of his money to aid his neighbors.

Here is the best collection of Ned Flanders quotes and sayings. You can read, enjoy and share these quotes about Ned Flanders with your friends and family members.


Best Ned Flanders Quotes

You’re never bored painting the Lord! ~ Ned Flanders.

Can I make my famous mimosa? A little sparkling water in a glass full of regular water? ~ Ned Flanders.

Cause I just caught me a flyin’ red hot! Bart Simpson? ~ Ned Flanders.

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It’s good for keepin’ down the urges! ~ Ned Flanders.

Just tell them that God wants them to ignore everything in their bodies. ~ Ned Flanders.

Homer, I can’t believe you’re partaking with my parents. ~ Ned Flanders.

There are some things we don’t want to know. Important things. ~ Ned Flanders.

Homer Simpson, I show you pity, and how do you repay me? With a kick in the kididdlehopper! ~ Ned Flanders.

Famous Ned Flanders Quotes

Homer, I’d love to chitty-chat, but tonight’s the night I do my charity work. ~ Ned Flanders.

I guess now we know why they call them rapids and not ‘slow-pids’, huh? ~ Ned Flanders.

Homer, did you just buckle your belt through my loop? ~ Ned Flanders.

Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middleman who jacked up the price, and let’s not forget the humane but determined boys at the slaughterhouse. ~ Ned Flanders.

I’m afraid my Maudie is putting plastic on the clouds now. ~ Ned Flanders.

Sometimes God bless her, she underlines passages in my bible because she can’t find hers! ~ Ned Flanders.

It’s a lot less racy than its name would lead you to believe. ~ Ned Flanders.

Popular Ned Flanders Quotes

Oh my, what a little mess we’ve got here. Well, which ones are yours and which ones are mine? ~ Ned Flanders.

Dear Neighbor, you are my brother. I love you, and yet I feel a great sadness in my bosom. ~ Ned Flanders.

Say your prayers, Simpson… Because the schools can’t force you like they should! ~ Ned Flanders.

I’m not a bad man. I don’t drink or dance or swear. ~ Ned Flanders.

Oh I’d put rocks in your pocket and walk you out to sea for before I’d let that happen. ~ Ned Flanders.

Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees. ~ Ned Flanders.

Hi diddly ho neighborinos! ~ Ned Flanders.

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Homer, God didn’t set your house on fire. ~ Ned Flanders.

Call me Delta Airlines, because I can’t handle all your extra baggage. ~ Ned Flanders.

Reverend, would you like to try some of my devil’s food cake? ~ Ned Flanders.

Top Ned Flanders Quotes

I’m not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month? ~ Ned Flanders.

Dear Lord, thank you for Ziggy comics. ~ Ned Flanders.

I got two teens in a public park going at it like a couple of gibbons in the back seat of Noah’s ark! ~ Ned Flanders.

That got my blood pumping in a way I thought only quiet reflection could! Fizzy water for everyone! ~ Ned Flanders.

Now I know you’ve had a few too many waters, but that is no reason for the sailor talk. ~ Ned Flanders.

Watch Fox and be damned for all eternity. ~ Ned Flanders.

I’ve done everything the bible says. Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff. ~ Ned Flanders.

Then I remember what it was like to have a sweet woman of my own, lying in a twin bed across the hall from mine. ~ Ned Flanders.

Funny Ned Flanders Quotes

Sorry to bother you, Reverend Lovejoy, but I’m kind of in a tizzy. ~ Ned Flanders.

That sounds salty, but you seem sweet. I’m going to call you kettle corn. ~ Ned Flanders.

Yeah, when they made him, they did not skimp on the puppy dog tails. ~ Ned Flanders.

Now let us download the holy tweet of the Lord. ~ Ned Flanders.

Kids, did anybody pray for giant shoes!? ~ Ned Flanders.

Well I can’t say for sure, but as a Christian, I assume the worst. ~ Ned Flanders.

That’s right, I’m down to my wife blesser. ~ Ned Flanders.

Seagulls always stay near land! They only go out to sea to die! ~ Ned Flanders.

Great Ned Flanders Quotes

Homer, you’ve met my parents. ~ Ned Flanders.

Did a volcano erupt in candy land, because I just caught me a flying red hot. ~ Ned Flanders.

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Hold your horses, son. Hey, Simpson! ~ Ned Flanders.

He’s a hero all right, a hero sandwich full of bologna! ~ Ned Flanders.

Thank you for taking me to that Pinkberry place. It’s a lot less racy than its name would lead you to believe. ~ Ned Flanders.

No, it’s angel’s food with chocolate on top. ~ Ned Flanders.


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