Are you looking for the best Ogden Nash quotes? I’ve rounded up some of the famous Ogden Nash quotes, sayings, captions for Instagram, and status messages for you.

Frederic Ogden Nash was a well-known American poet who composed over 500 works of light verse.

Ogden Nash was born in Rye, New York, on August 19, 1902. Because his father ran an import-export business, the family had to relocate frequently.

Nash, who worked in a comedic style and was sometimes dismissed as a lightweight poet, is a master of linguistic wordplay on par with Lewis Carroll, who is far more well-known.

Ogden Nash used humor to make people aware of their own accidental defects. In this poem, the poet also targets his cynicism towards men, who, unlike ducks, have a picky attitude.

You will find below a curated collection of the popular ‘Ogden Nash’ quotes that you can read and share with others.


Best Ogden Nash Quotes

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin. ~ Ogden Nash.

Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain’t. ~ Ogden Nash.

All that glitters is sold as gold. ~ Ogden Nash.

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Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early? ~ Ogden Nash.

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~ Ogden Nash.

To maintain your marriage brimming, with really like in the wedding cup, anytime you are incorrect, admit it each time you’re proper, shut up. ~ Ogden Nash.

I could not eat a kangaroo. But many fine Australians do. Those with cookbooks as well as boomerangs Prefer him in tasty kangaroo-meringues. ~ Ogden Nash.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. ~ Ogden Nash.

No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed. ~ Ogden Nash.

I think progress began to retrogress when Wilbur and Orville started tinkering around in Dayton and at Kitty Hawk, because I believe that two Wrights made a wrong. ~ Ogden Nash.

The sky is now indelible ink, The branches reft asunder; But you and I we do not shrink; We love the lovely thunder. ~ Ogden Nash.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. ~ Ogden Nash.

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven’t what they want that they don’t want it. ~ Ogden Nash.

In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel. ~ Ogden Nash.

Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot. ~ Ogden Nash.

Famous Ogden Nash Quotes

Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore, And that’s what parents were created for. ~ Ogden Nash.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. ~ Ogden Nash.

And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more. ~ Ogden Nash.

Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road. ~ Ogden Nash.

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think that their children are naive. ~ Ogden Nash.

Ten years ago she split the air To seize what she could spy Tonight she bumps against a chair, Betrayed by milky eye. She seems to pant, Time up, time up! My little dog must die, And lie in dust with Hector’s pup; I So, presently, must I. ~ Ogden Nash.

This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it. ~ Ogden Nash.

Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I’m in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was. ~ Ogden Nash.

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I’d rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet. ~ Ogden Nash.

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks. ~ Ogden Nash.

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it. ~ Ogden Nash.

One thing about the past. It’s likely to last. ~ Ogden Nash.

Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer. ~ Ogden Nash.

Top Ogden Nash Quotes

Too much Chablis can make you whablis. ~ Ogden Nash.

I test my bath before I sit, And I’m always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament. ~ Ogden Nash.

Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord’s anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can’t get your fingers on him. ~ Ogden Nash.

Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideways. ~ Ogden Nash.

Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope. ~ Ogden Nash.

Humor is hope’s companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit. ~ Ogden Nash.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus. ~ Ogden Nash.

If you don’t want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work. ~ Ogden Nash.

I’m like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I’m only forty-nine. ~ Ogden Nash.

I was born a jackdaw; why should I try to be an owl? ~ Ogden Nash.

Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We’re late, darling, we’re late, The curtain descends, everything ends, too soon, too soon. ~ Ogden Nash.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. ~ Ogden Nash.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late. ~ Ogden Nash.

The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two; Or else the other way around; I’m never sure. Are you? ~ Ogden Nash.

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned. ~ Ogden Nash.

Basketball, a game which won’t be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo. ~ Ogden Nash.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs. ~ Ogden Nash.

Popular Ogden Nash Quotes

They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they’ve heard of unemployment and they’ve heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball. ~ Ogden Nash.

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Only the gamefish swims upstream, But the sensible fish swims down. ~ Ogden Nash.

Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you? ~ Ogden Nash.

The codfish is a staple food For which I’m seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce. ~ Ogden Nash.

Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how. ~ Ogden Nash.

Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch. ~ Ogden Nash.

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor. ~ Ogden Nash.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~ Ogden Nash.

Maybe I couldn’t be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after. ~ Ogden Nash.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly. ~ Ogden Nash.

One bliss for which There is no match Is when you itch To up and scratch. ~ Ogden Nash.

To love is an active verb. ~ Ogden Nash.

How Sunday into Monday melts! ~ Ogden Nash.

Then blessings on thee, my afternoon torpor Thou makest a prince of a mental porpor. ~ Ogden Nash.

Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world. ~ Ogden Nash.

At another year I would not boggle Except that when I jog I joggle. ~ Ogden Nash.

Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it; Thank you kids, I wouldn’t have missed it. ~ Ogden Nash.

When a lady’s erotic life is vexed God knows what God is coming next. ~ Ogden Nash.

One man’s remorse is another man’s reminiscence. ~ Ogden Nash.

Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches. ~ Ogden Nash.

Great Ogden Nash Quotes

Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility? ~ Ogden Nash.

Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won’t buy, but it’s very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money? ~ Ogden Nash.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance. ~ Ogden Nash.

Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind. ~ Ogden Nash.

Then here’s to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around. ~ Ogden Nash.

A bit of talcum Is always walcum. ~ Ogden Nash.

There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I’m afraid it’s heading in the wrong direction. ~ Ogden Nash.

The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, If the tax-collector hasn’t got it before I wake. ~ Ogden Nash.

The turtle lives ’twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile. ~ Ogden Nash.

We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt. ~ Ogden Nash.

A cough is something that you yourself can’t help, but everybody else does on purpose just to torment you. ~ Ogden Nash.

Middle-age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. ~ Ogden Nash.

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind’s untidy. You’ve had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You’re sunk from a riot of relaxation. ~ Ogden Nash.

Powerful Ogden Nash Quotes

A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard. ~ Ogden Nash.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes! ~ Ogden Nash.

The dog is man’s best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath. ~ Ogden Nash.

Don’t Cry Darling, It’s Blood All Right. ~ Ogden Nash.

Tonight’s December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it’s midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year! ~ Ogden Nash.

Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder, Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed by our parents and the last part being embarrassed by our children. ~ Ogden Nash.

How confusing the beams from memory’s lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick? ~ Ogden Nash.

I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He’s a lush and she’s a shrew. ~ Ogden Nash.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. ~ Ogden Nash.

There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees. ~ Ogden Nash.

But all ladies think they weigh too much. ~ Ogden Nash.

Wise Ogden Nash Quotes

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them. ~ Ogden Nash.

When I ponder my mind I consistently find It is glued On food. ~ Ogden Nash.

A bird in the open never looks Like its picture in the birdie books – Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage, And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage. ~ Ogden Nash.

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Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up. ~ Ogden Nash.

He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more. ~ Ogden Nash.

A jolly young fellow from Yuma Told an elephant joke to a puma; now his skeleton lies beneath hot western skies- the puma had no sense of huma. ~ Ogden Nash.

Middle age ends and senescence begins, the day your descendant’s outnumber your friends. ~ Ogden Nash.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. ~ Ogden Nash.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born. ~ Ogden Nash.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. ~ Ogden Nash.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters. ~ Ogden Nash.

The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker. ~ Ogden Nash.

Miranda in Miranda’s sight is old, gray and dirty; Twenty-nine she was last night; This morning she is thirty. ~ Ogden Nash.

When there are monsters there are miracles. ~ Ogden Nash.

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. ~ Odgen Nash.

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here’s a typewriter, here’s a stencil, here’s a list of today’s appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures – take them, George, they’re yours! ~ Ogden Nash.

Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art. ~ Ogden Nash.

Every new year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals? ~ Ogden Nash.

I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm. ~ Ogden Nash.

Here’s a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb. ~ Ogden Nash.

Progress might have been all right once, but it’s gone on too long. ~ Ogden Nash.

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The old men know when an old man dies. ~ Ogden Nash.

Some people’s money is merited and other people’s is inherited. ~ Ogden Nash.

Profound Ogden Nash Quotes

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody’s reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech. ~ Ogden Nash.

The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can’t cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor. ~ Ogden Nash.

Don’t over-analyze your marriage; it’s like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. ~ Ogden Nash.

So Columbus said, somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it, And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it, And the fetters gave him welts, And they named America after somebody else. ~ Ogden Nash.

Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. ~ Ogden Nash.

A dog’s best friend is his illiteracy. ~ Ogden Nash.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. ~ Ogden Nash.

One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one’s own kin and kith Were more fun to be with. ~ Ogden Nash.

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk. ~ Ogden Nash.

The reason for much matrimony is patrimony. ~ Ogden Nash.

God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why. ~ Ogden Nash.


So these were the 131 top Ogden Nash quotes and sayings.

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