Shopping is a universally enjoyed activity, often punctuated by humorous incidents.
These funny shopping quotes aim to capture the amusing moments we encounter during our retail adventures, offering a light-hearted perspective on this common pastime.
So if you’re a shopaholic or a casual consumer then these funny shopping quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
Here are some funny shopping quotes and captions for you.
Top 10 Funny Shopping Quotes and Captions
Those who hate shopping, don’t know how to shop. ~ Unknown.
Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life. ~ Unknown.
I went window shopping today! I bought four windows. ~ Tommy Cooper.
Shopping is my cardio. ~ Carrie Bradshaw.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. ~ Johnny Carson.
I shop like a bull – I charge everything! ~ Unknown.
Happiness is not in money, but in shopping. ~ Marilyn Monroe.
Shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. ~ Unknown.
If I could be reincarnated as a fashion accessory, it would be a shopping bag. ~ Karl Lagerfeld.
When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. ~ Unknown.
Funny Shopping Quotes to Enjoy
Marry someone who is as excited about your Kroger fuel points as you are. ~ Unknown.
If you spend fifteen minutes in a shopping mall, you will pass more people than our ancestors saw during their entire lifetimes. ~ Rolf Dobelli.
I love shopping. There is a little bit of magic found in buying something new. It is instant gratification, a quick fix. ~ Rebecca Bloom.
If shopping doesn’t make you happy, then you’re in the wrong shop! ~ Mimosa Rose.
If I like it. I’ll buy it: pure impulse shopping. ~ Kristin Kreuk.
I couldn’t live on the singing at first, so I worked as a cleaner, in a laundrette, in a garage, face painting and doing the windows of shops at Christmas, ’cause I had been to art college.’ ~ Imelda May.
I have no interest in fashion, shoes, handbags, or sweaty shopping. ~ Jo Brand.
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like. ~ Will Smith.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. ~ Dave Barry.
Playing dress-up begins at age five and never truly ends. ~ Kate Spade.
I hate shopping. ~ Courtney Cox.
Funny Shopping Quotes for Instagram
While Easter shopping is the window to spring, back-to-school is the doorway to fall and the holidays. So back-to-school shopping is a really important momentum builder. ~ Marshal Cohen.
Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. ~ Oscar Wilde.
“I have enough clothes and shoes, I don’t need to go shopping”, said no woman ever. ~ Unknown.
Clothes aren’t going to change the world, the women who wear them will. ~ Anna Klein.
The only consolation I had was buying things. If I bought some pretty thing it cheered me up for a while. ~ Iris Murdoch.
I am not a shopaholic, I am helping the economy. ~ Unknown.
I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don’t wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too. ~ Maria Bamford.
They came, they saw, they did a little shopping. ~ Jeff Klooger.
As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same. ~ Donald E Westlake.
Funny Shopping Quotes and Sayings
The car, the furniture, the wife, the children – everything has to be disposable. Because you see the main thing today is – shopping. ~ Arthur Miller.
There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right? ~ Conan O’Brien.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop. ~ Gertrude Stein.
I love dress shopping, and I love talking about wedding food. That’s what makes me happy. If you tell me to do a guest list, I cry. I hate it. ~ Chrissy Teigen.
There is no exquisite beauty…without some strangeness in the proportion. ~ Edgar Allan Poe.
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~ Oprah Winfrey.
Online shopping is the only kind of shopping you can do without pants. ~ Unknown.
I could give up shopping but I am not a quitter. ~ Unknown.
Joy is the best makeup. ~ Anne Lamott.
Short Funny Shopping Quotes
I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, so does the guy I stole it from. ~ David Letterman.
Thrift shopping is all about going into the thrift shop and having no expectation of what you might find. ~ Macklemore.
Recreational shopping is the shortest distance between two points: you and broke. ~ Victoria Moran.
Shop shop ladies shop. Don’t let your plans flop… Let all his plans drop or give him a choice to mop… and if he still does not pop, flaunt your lingerie and hear him say, Let’s shop. ~ Marina Magens.
I love shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, Have you got anything I’d like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, extra medium. ~ Steven Wright.
Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it. ~ Sophie Kinsella.
When shopping was still connected to the street it was also an intensification and articulation of the street. Now it has become utterly independent-contained, controlled, surveyed. ~ Rem Koolhaas.
I feel like a failure! I’ve been shopping for 20 years and I still don’t have anything to wear. ~ Unknown.
One good thing about Christmas shopping is it toughens you for the January sales. ~ Grace Kriley.
I’ve found out it’s fun to go shopping. It’s such a feminine thing to do. ~ Marilyn Monroe.
No decision should be made on an empty shopping bag. ~ Donita K. Paul.
So these were the 53 top quotes about Funny Shopping.