87 Best Gabriel Iglesias Quotes, Jokes, Sayings and One Liners

Gabriel Jesús Iglesias is an American comedian and actor.

Known for stand-up specials like “I’m Not Fat… I’m Fluffy” on platforms such as Netflix and Comedy Central, he’s also appeared in movies and series, notably as Tobias in “Magic Mike” and voicing Speedy Gonzales in “Space Jam: A New Legacy.”

Iglesias also starred in Netflix’s “Mr. Iglesias.” Born in San Diego, California, he is of Mexican heritage and was raised by his single mother in various California cities, ultimately settling in Long Beach.


He began his comedic career in 1997, facing hardships like eviction. His comedy often revolves around his weight and self-coined terms of fatness.

Iglesias has acted in many shows and films, was a contestant on “Last Comic Standing” and in 2022, became the first comedian to sell out Dodger Stadium.

He cites influences like Eddie Murphy and is known for wearing Hawaiian shirts.

Outside his career, he’s faced personal challenges including health issues and battles with depression and alcoholism.

I have picked some of the best quotes by Gabriel Iglesias.

Best Gabriel Iglesias Quotes


I’m not fat. I’m fluffy! ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I’m always ready for TV. I don’t have to edit my jokes – when you work clean, you can work anywhere. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I got off the plane – I was walking and cooking at the same time. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Home in bed listening to the rain getting ready to order a pizza. Sounds like a song til the last part. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

You know what I learned about Hawaiians? They’re just blown up Mexicans! ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

My favorite people to have fun with are police officers ’cause they’re so serious, you know. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I had to travel halfway across the world to be called an American. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Anything is possible as long as you’re focused, determined and you really want to do it. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Understand that you don’t know it all. You don’t know anything yet. What you’ve been taught is great, but always go with common sense. And don’t marry your first love. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I have very nice cars. I never get to drive them, because I’m never home. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I’m doing. If I can keep this going, I’m happy. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

When I was a kid I did impressions and funny voices a lot. When I was telling a story I would use the voices to make it more entertaining. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Funny Gabriel Iglesias Quotes

I started riding the whole ‘fluffy’ train, and it’s a cute word and socially a lot more acceptable than someone saying is fat or obese. If you call a girl ‘fat,’ yo, she’ll raise hell, but if you say, ‘Aw girl, look at you, you’re fluffy,’ there’s almost a sexy appeal to it. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I’m not on a diet. And it’s funny cause people go ‘Well, then why do you drink diet soda?’ So I can eat regular cake. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

When you leave, you basically want to go eat, because I talk a lot about food in my act. So when you leave, you leave hungry. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Drama is not my passion. If I do it, it’s for a check. It’s not what I want to do. Comedy’s my thing. Stand up’s my thing. Everything that comes from that is frosting on the cake. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

When you’re a comedian, the Holy Grail is an hour long HBO special. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

TV show’s really quick. You’re in, you’re out. A film usually takes a lot longer. However, a voiceover is very much like TV in the sense that it’s really quick. For example, I did the movie Planes in one day. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

If you Google the word “fluffy,” I’m the first thing that pops up. It’s me, dogs and rabbits. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don’t talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

If I’m drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I’m the guy you should leave alone. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

There’s 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There’s big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.


I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

As a comedian, especially one that works as much as I do, there is a lot of sacrifice. People don’t see that I’m away from my family 46 weeks out of the year. I miss all the birthdays and anniversaries and holidays. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I just like The Little Mermaid cartoon. Say what you want. I have a fish tank, it’s a long story. I have a fascination with the ocean, and you put a hot chick in there, it just adds more to it! I liked The Little Mermaid. It’s a cool movie. It’s one of those I watch over and over again. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I’m always very happy to talk to people. I relate to people, and the guy on stage is very much the guy that’s off stage. People know when it’s fake. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Hilarious Gabriel Iglesias Quotes

Connecting with people is not hard. I love the interaction and the feedback after shows. It does take some time, but the fans appreciate it which makes it worth it. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Every night, it’s a bakery on the bus. It’s a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I’m diabetic, so I’m like, are you kidding me?! ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Comedy is my passion. I’m going to do this until I drop. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I’m all about showing people that I’m a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won’t grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, ‘Life is great.’ ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Drinking can bring out a dude that has some issues. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I don’t want to die tomorrow knowing I could’ve had a piece of cake tonight. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I bought a Hummer before I bought a house, and then I bought a house. Every year, everything doubled. The work was doubling. The money was doubling. The popularity was doubling. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I’m a big guy, but I’m really simple with the food. I’ll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

You gotta live life before you can talk about it. Sometimes when things don’t work out in life, they work out on stage. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

We can choose our family. We can’t choose our relatives. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Make sure you’re doing impressions of people that are still relevant, and that everyone knows. Red Skelton impressions are a little outdated. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Funniest Gabriel Iglesias Quotes

Honestly, I really don’t like acting. I don’t enjoy it. What I do like is going to a movie theatre and seeing my face on a poster. I like seeing my name on a poster. That is cool. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

As far as guys who perform onstage, I love Chris Rock. I’m kind of jaded on everyone else. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Be personal, and original. Try to work clean. Stay away from topical material, as it does not allow you to craft it to make it better for later. And always remember that it is the fans who will make you or break you. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Some comics don’t like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I’m going to do. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

It’s because you alienate half the room talking about sports. Half the crowd will be against you no matter what you say. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I don’t get controversial, I don’t get political and I don’t tell you what to do with your life. I just go out there and tell some stories, and people can relate. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

People think if you have money, it’ll fix the problems, but it creates different ones. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were? ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I want to be known as a funny comic not just a funny Latino comic. I want to be able to go everywhere and anywhere. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

When you go to Hawaii, it’s all about Aloha. It means hello, goodbye and I love you. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I eat a lot of junk food, because that’s what’s usually available at 1:00am when I’m all done working. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Humorous Gabriel Iglesias Quotes

I’ll walk up to a woman, I’ll say the first thing that comes to mind: ‘Hey, you hungry?’ ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Hanging out with comics, all they did was make fun of me. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I know what it’s like to have a family and not have insurance and really need it. As a comic, insurance was one of those sacrifices I made early on until I could afford it. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

And I don’t want you thinking that my girlfriend is a bad person. She is an amazing woman, the fact that I only have seven stories about her in eight years, says a lot. You know, don’t get me wrong, five of them happened this year, but that’s still way below the bar, you know what I am saying. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I’m never home. I miss birthdays. I miss holidays. I miss anniversaries. I miss special moments. I’m not always there for important times, because I’m out on the road trying to make people laugh. I give up my privacy. I give up the ability to walk somewhere and relax. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can’t handle alcohol. The police know who you are. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I love Australia. First of all, everyone is so nice. The people are down to Earth, and they like having fun with you. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I’m a comedian who happens to be Latino. What’s the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I don’t have to worry about writing jokes. I just tell stories about things that have happened to me. As long as I’m alive and I’m living and I’m experiencing different things every day, the show will always change. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Believe it or not, I’ve got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I’m done. I’m not a guy that puts away 10 burgers. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.


Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don’t have one for common sense? ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I found that laughter was a form of acceptance, and I really enjoyed that and I just – I crave it. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

You live by the cake, you die by the cake. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

TV and film for me are not as exciting as the live stand-up show and getting the immediate reaction of the crowd. TV is a lot of hurry up and wait for your shot and less immediate reaction from people. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I just know you can not be on top forever. There’s always going to be the next guy, and if I’m going to go down, I’d like to know I helped the next guy take my spot. You can’t prevent the inevitable, but you can join the ship. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I’ll go for it. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

My material never comes out verbatim every time. I always tweak in a line, or tweak away a line, gain a couple tags or lose a couple tags. The timing is always off. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

That’s one thing about my shows. I tell people, I’m not a comedian, I’m just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don’t snap and so I don’t go off the handle when I get home. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I try not to get political, I don’t want to get religious, I don’t want to get controversial, I just want to have a show that relates to everybody. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That’s the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

You wonder why I only talk about my personal life. But that’s all I’ve ever done. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I never go perform somewhere alone. I’ve done that since day one. I’ve always taken other comics with me. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Wearing a Hawaiian shirt, you don’t ever come across as offensive. Nobody sees you as a threat. You see someone in a Hawaiian shirt, and you are like ‘this guy is ready to party.’ ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I’m a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

When I go to dance clubs, I always dance with big girls, so we finish at the same time. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Being on TV sucks. It’s a lot of work. You memorize scripts and then you show up and they change everything. I’m a control freak. When I’m doing stand-up, I say what I want and then I get instant feedback. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I’m not fat. It’s just my awesomeness swelling up inside of me. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I was not the popular kid in school. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

As long as you have a director, that’s your feedback. It’s the director telling you, Okay. That was great! Okay. Can we add a little? Can you tweak it like this? Can you make it more high pitched? Can you give it a little growl? ~ Gabriel Iglesias.


You can’t be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I get a lot of influence from pro wrestling. People are like, ‘Oh, it’s fake.’ But it’s not about whether the guy wins or loses, it’s about how he entertains you the whole time you’re watching. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

Social media has definitely changed the game for me. I am able to connect to my fans on twitter and interact with them daily. YouTube has been a game changer as well – people around the world have been exposed to my comedy through my YouTube channel. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

The Ford Flex is a really, really cool car. You get inside and you have so much headroom and it’s really comfortable to drive and it’s real techy inside. You look at the screen and it’s blue and you’ve got all kinds of controls. Everything is digital. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

A lot of the comedians nowadays just do comedy as a stepping stone. Take for example Dane Cook. The guy is huge. The main reason he got into it is to do what he is doing now: film and television work. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try. ~ Gabriel Iglesias.

So these were 87 top Gabriel Iglesias quotes, jokes, one liners and sayings.

If you like these quotes and sayings, then you can also read my other posts on Chris Tucker quotes and Dennis Miller quotes.

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Chandan Negi
Chandan Negi

I’m the Founder of Internet Pillar - I love sharing quotes and motivational content to inspire and motivate people - #quotes #motivation #internetpillar