27 Kenny Powers Quotes from Eastbound & Down to Make You Laugh

Kenny Powers, a character from HBO’s comedy series Eastbound & Down, is a once-renowned baseball player whose temperament and poor choices derail his career.

After an impressive start in Major League Baseball, Powers’ offensive behavior and diminishing skills, exacerbated by steroid use, see him bounce between multiple teams.

His career ends within seven years, prompting a return to his hometown where he becomes a substitute PE teacher.

As he attempts a comeback and reconciliation with his former love, April Buchanon, he faces setbacks, eventually escaping to Mexico.

Kenny Powers

Later, a chance with the Myrtle Beach Mermen, a minor league team, offers redemption. Although he makes it to the majors, he fakes his death to woo April.

Years later, after facing legal consequences, a suburban life and a stint in sports commentary, Kenny’s audacious spirit remains undimmed.

Here are some of the coolest Quotes from Kenny Powers for you to enjoy.

Kenny Powers Quotes

Is that my thong? Oh, dude no way! You do not go in my drawers and take out a pair of my chones. That is a big no-no! ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

Why give 100% when 35% will get you paid and laid. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

I brought you guys up from less than f*ckin’ nothin’, and took you up to a championship level, only to abandon you there. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.


Whenever I look at a Mexican I will think of you. Whenever you look at that jacka*s you think of me, OK? ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

What is that smell?…What did you eat? Diarrhea? ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

Stay in school. Fight the power. Don’t do drugs. Unless, of course, you’re doing them with me. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

When my a*s was 19 years old, I changed the face of professional baseball. I was handed the keys to the kingdom. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

I can’t believe I opened up my heart up to that b**ch. Opened it wide up. And she just squatted with that big beautiful booty and dumped all over it. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.


I’ve been blessed with many things in this life: an arm like a damn rocket, a c*ck like a burmese python, and the mind of a f**king scientist. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

Listen here you beautiful b**ch, I’m about to f**k you up with some truth. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

See, in life, when you have talent all the other s**t doesn’t matter. If we were on an island with no weights and no running drills, who would be on top then? The guy with the talent. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

There have been many comebacks throughout history…Well, my comeback is almost complete, and I can say that, when it is complete, it will shake the pillars of this land or town.’ ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and all the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

I learned a lot down in Mexico. I learned that sometimes to be the man, you gotta beat the man. I learned the grass is not always greener. I learned that adversity’s sweet milk. That’s philosophy, April. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

OK, Toby, here we go, bud. We’re going to put you on the big people’s furniture. Try not to s*it all over it, OK? ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s losing. If there are two things I hate, then it’s losing and getting cancer. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

Purity – it’s what we all desire, and it is what I’ve come here to share with you. Hence the all whites. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

I’m sick and tired of carrying all the weight… the coaches and owners not giving me the sh*t I need to win. Atlanta, you’re fu*king out. Kenny Powers is now a free agent. Let’s find a bar and get sh*t-faced. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.


I’m sober and ready to destroy the competitions. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

Sounds like Fifty Shades of Gross to me, motherf*cker. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

Fundamentals are the crutch for the talentless. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

If you’ve got something you want to say, then just say it. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

Oddly enough, the people here aren’t that different from the ones back home, when you get past the lack of interest in real sports, and the need to have yellow rice at every f*ckin’ meal. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising. F*ck this guy. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

Ask anybody out there, and they’ll tell you that the foundation of a great baseball player starts with an understanding of some basic fundamentals: running, stretching, physical conditioning. These are the things that prepare your body for the many challenges a baseball player faces. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

There’s no better feeling than winning. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

So these were the quotes from Kenny Powers.

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Short Biography of Kenny Powers

Kenny Powers, a character played by Danny McBride in HBO’s Eastbound & Down, is a famous but troubled baseball player.

His arrogance and lack of discipline led to a downfall after a promising start in the Major Leagues.

From Atlanta to Seattle, he bounces between teams, struggling with dwindling skills and controversial choices like steroid use.

Full Name Kenny Powers
Portrayedby Danny McBride
First appearance Pilot
Last appearance Chapter 29
First episode date 15 February 2009 (USA)
Program creators Danny McBride, Jody Hill, Ben Best
Genre Sports comedy
Network HBO
Production Companies Rough House Pictures; Gary Sanchez Productions; Enemy MIGs Productions
Nickname The People’s Champion,
The Shelby Sensation,
The Reverse Apache Master,
The Man with the Golden Dick,
Doctor Cock & Balls,
Kenny “Fucking” Powers,
La Flama Blanca,
El Hombre Negro,
The Bulletproof Tiger,
The Team Leader
Occupation Professional baseball pitcher
Religion Christian
Nationality American

Eventually, he ends up as a substitute teacher in his hometown, seeking redemption and returning to baseball glory.

After a tumultuous journey involving Mexico, minor leagues, and faking his death, Kenny finds a shot at redemption with the Myrtle Beach Mermen.

Despite his erratic behavior, he finally earns a second chance in the majors. Later, tired of suburban life, he revives his career on a sports show, showcasing his newfound discipline and skill.

Quick Facts about Kenny Powers

  • Kenny Powers, portrayed by Danny McBride, is a fictional baseball player in the HBO series Eastbound & Down.
  • Initially a talented pitcher, Powers’ attitude and temper led to a downfall in his professional career.
  • After bouncing around various teams, Powers’ career ends due to steroid use and declining performance.
  • He returns to his hometown of Shelby, North Carolina, as a substitute teacher, hoping for a comeback.
  • Powers flees to Mexico in shame after his comeback attempt fails.
  • He finds redemption playing in an independent league and gets signed by the Myrtle Beach Mermen.
  • Despite his erratic behavior, Powers achieves his dream of returning to the majors.
  • He fakes his death to win back the affection of his former flame, April.
  • Years later, Kenny lives a mundane life until he can appear on a sports show.
  • After initially embarrassing himself, Powers trains hard and becomes a hit on the show.
  • HBO released officially licensed T-shirts featuring quotes from the series and Powers’ jerseys.
  • K-Swiss launched an ad campaign in 2011 featuring Kenny Powers as their CEO, promoting the Tubes line of shoes.

Top Questions about Kenny Powers

Q: Who inspired the character of Kenny Powers?

A: Kenny Powers, portrayed by actor Danny McBride, draws inspiration from former MLB pitcher John Rocker. The character’s creation was influenced by a skit on SNL where Will Ferrell impersonated Rocker.

Q: Why did Kenny Powers leave baseball?

A: Once a celebrated pitcher in Major League Baseball, Kenny Powers’ downfall was driven by his excessive drug use, including cocaine and steroids, as well as his contentious interactions with the media.

Q: What memorable quote is associated with Kenny Powers?

A: “But sometimes when you bring the thunder, you get lost in the storm. And a true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies.”

Q: Who was Kenny Powers’ girlfriend?

A: During Season 2 of the show, Vida serves as Kenny Powers’ primary love interest. She works as a singer at a club, and Kenny is particularly fascinated by the size of her buttocks.

Q: How did Kenny Powers’ story end?

A: The series finale of Kenny Powers’ journey reveals that he faked his death, changed his appearance with new hair color, and chose to embrace family life with April and Toby.

Q: In which season does Kenny Powers stage his death?

A: In Season 3, Kenny Powers stages his death after walking off the field during the World Series. He then reunites with April, his on-again, off-again romantic interest.

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Chandan Negi
Chandan Negi

I’m the Founder of Internet Pillar - I love sharing quotes and motivational content to inspire and motivate people - #quotes #motivation #internetpillar