Kenny Powers, a character from HBO’s comedy series Eastbound & Down, is a once-renowned baseball player whose temperament and poor choices derail his career.
After an impressive start in Major League Baseball, Powers’ offensive behavior and diminishing skills, exacerbated by steroid use, see him bounce between multiple teams.
His career ends within seven years, prompting a return to his hometown where he becomes a substitute PE teacher.
As he attempts a comeback and reconciliation with his former love, April Buchanon, he faces setbacks, eventually escaping to Mexico.
Later, a chance with the Myrtle Beach Mermen, a minor league team, offers redemption. Although he makes it to the majors, he fakes his death to woo April.
Years later, after facing legal consequences, a suburban life and a stint in sports commentary, Kenny’s audacious spirit remains undimmed.
Here are some of the coolest Quotes from Kenny Powers for you to enjoy.
Kenny Powers Quotes
Is that my thong? Oh, dude no way! You do not go in my drawers and take out a pair of my chones. That is a big no-no! ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
Why give 100% when 35% will get you paid and laid. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
I brought you guys up from less than f*ckin’ nothin’, and took you up to a championship level, only to abandon you there. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
Whenever I look at a Mexican I will think of you. Whenever you look at that jacka*s you think of me, OK? ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
What is that smell?…What did you eat? Diarrhea? ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
Stay in school. Fight the power. Don’t do drugs. Unless, of course, you’re doing them with me. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
When my a*s was 19 years old, I changed the face of professional baseball. I was handed the keys to the kingdom. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
I can’t believe I opened up my heart up to that b**ch. Opened it wide up. And she just squatted with that big beautiful booty and dumped all over it. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
I’ve been blessed with many things in this life: an arm like a damn rocket, a c*ck like a burmese python, and the mind of a f**king scientist. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
Listen here you beautiful b**ch, I’m about to f**k you up with some truth. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
See, in life, when you have talent all the other s**t doesn’t matter. If we were on an island with no weights and no running drills, who would be on top then? The guy with the talent. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
There have been many comebacks throughout history…Well, my comeback is almost complete, and I can say that, when it is complete, it will shake the pillars of this land or town.’ ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and all the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
I learned a lot down in Mexico. I learned that sometimes to be the man, you gotta beat the man. I learned the grass is not always greener. I learned that adversity’s sweet milk. That’s philosophy, April. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
OK, Toby, here we go, bud. We’re going to put you on the big people’s furniture. Try not to s*it all over it, OK? ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
If there’s one thing I hate, it’s losing. If there are two things I hate, then it’s losing and getting cancer. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
Purity – it’s what we all desire, and it is what I’ve come here to share with you. Hence the all whites. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
I’m sick and tired of carrying all the weight… the coaches and owners not giving me the sh*t I need to win. Atlanta, you’re fu*king out. Kenny Powers is now a free agent. Let’s find a bar and get sh*t-faced. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
I’m sober and ready to destroy the competitions. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
Sounds like Fifty Shades of Gross to me, motherf*cker. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
Fundamentals are the crutch for the talentless. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
If you’ve got something you want to say, then just say it. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
Oddly enough, the people here aren’t that different from the ones back home, when you get past the lack of interest in real sports, and the need to have yellow rice at every f*ckin’ meal. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising. F*ck this guy. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
Ask anybody out there, and they’ll tell you that the foundation of a great baseball player starts with an understanding of some basic fundamentals: running, stretching, physical conditioning. These are the things that prepare your body for the many challenges a baseball player faces. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
There’s no better feeling than winning. ~ Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.
So these were the quotes from Kenny Powers.
