Studies have shown that having a sense of humor enhances leadership qualities, physical and mental health, and attractiveness.

The funniest quotes in this post will help you to add your repertoire of sense of humor skills.

These funny quotes may motivate you to attain your objectives while also making you laugh out loud.

Let’s dive straight in and enjoy!


Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh [LOL]

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1. “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” ~ Groucho Marx.

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2. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” ~ Robin Williams.

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3. “I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.” ~ Jack Whitehall.

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4. “The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” ~ Lily Tomlin.

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5. “The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive.” ~ Coco Chanel.

6. “Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein.

7. “I need a six month vacation twice a year.” ~ Anonymous.

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8. “I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.” ~ Imelda Marcos.

9. “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” ~ George Burns

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10. “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” ~ Mark Twain.

Best Funny Quotes

11. “A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” ~ David Brinkley

12. “Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.” ~ Spike Milligan

13. “Due to budget cuts the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.” ~ Aaron Paul

14. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” ~ Steven Wright

15. “I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.” ~ Steven Wright

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16. “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.” ~ Henry Ford

17. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” ~ Vince Lombardi

18. “Dear Karma, I have a list of people that you missed.” ~ Anonymous

19. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” ~ Will Rogers

20. “Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.” ~ Terry Pratchett

21. “Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders.” ~ Sloan Wilson

22. “The successful man is the one who finds out what is the matter with his business before his competitors do.” ~ Roy L. Smith.

Famous Funny Quotes

23. “Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.” ~ Doug Larson

24. “If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?” ~ Steven Wright

25. “Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats.” ~ Howard Aiken

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26. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” ~ Lily Tomlin

27. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet connection to see who they really are.” ~ Will Ferrell

28. “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” ~ Charles Dudley Warner

29. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” ~ Phyllis Diller

30. “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” ~ Margaret Mead

31. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield

32. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” ~ George Burns

33. “My therapist says I’m afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sitting-around time.” ~ Maria Bamford

34. “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” ~ David Lee Roth

35. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” ~ Dalai Lama.

Top Funny Quotes

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36. “Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?” ~ Steve Jobs

37. “The road to success is always under construction.” ~ Lily Tomlin

38. “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” ~ Sir Norman Wisdom

39. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” ~ Oscar Wilde

40. “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.” ~ Steven Wright

41. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” ~ Oscar Wilde

42. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.” ~ Bob Hope

43. “Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?” ~ Phyllis Diller

44. “The real trouble with reality is that there is no background music.” ~ Anonymous

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45. “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” ~ Parkinson’s law

46. “Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.” ~ Anonymous

47. “My grandfather rode a camel, my father rode a camel, I drive a Mercedes, my son drives a Land Rover, his son will drive a Land Rover, but his son will ride a camel.” ~ Rashid bin Saeed Al Maktoum

Great Funny Quotes

48. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” ~ Jack Handey

49. “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” ~ Joan Rivers

50. “A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” ~ Don Marquis

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51. “A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.” ~ Graham Norton

52. “I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” ~ Arthur C. Clarke.



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